Holli & Mike

Percentiles

2012-02-10T10:33:00.000-08:00

I promised I'd share so here they are:

-25% wt

-75% head

-90% ht

If you have ever seen my Dad as a young man or my brother Bryce (who is 6'5" and probably 190), I think he's headed their direction! As for the head, pretty sure that is a Mike side thing, my family all have small heads. Shrunken heads, broad shoulders, and skinny bodies. That's my side in a nutshell. :)

4 Months!

2012-02-07T09:15:00.000-08:00

Jack is 4 months tomorrow! It's hard to imagine life without him, he is a happy smiley baby who only cries for the necessities and even then he is very patient.

New Tricks:
-laughs at himself
-squeals in delight

-stands in bouncy duck
-LOVES bouncy seat (it lights up and sings when he kicks it)
-so close to rolling over

-sits-up with little support (first stroller ride sans car seat yesterday and he "oooed" the whole time we were at the store)

-scoots in the crib-he ends up in all sorts of positions.

What makes him laugh/smile:

-His reflection

-Other people laughing/smiling

-Tickles

-Raspberries

-Eating his toes

-Voices/sound effects (old MacDonald is a big hit)

-Jumping with mom

He just keeps getting cuter and more fun as the days go on. When I look back at his newborn pictures I wish I had more of those first few days when he was so sleepy and squishy (a good thing to think about in a few years). He brings me happiness everyday and I think working some makes it even more true. I feel like I really treasure our time together because I don't get everyday. In some ways it makes me sad but it also makes me grateful for what I do get. Grandma gets way more opportunities to watch him too (I don't think I would share otherwise) which makes her happy.

I'm getting stats from the doc on Friday so I will post those then. I am working to get a picture collage on the wall soon so I may have to share it when I'm through (you know, if it turns out cute). Life is good!!!

Happy

2012-01-31T21:02:00.000-08:00

I often have people comment on my happiness so I wanted to discuss my thoughts on it. I think in some cases, feeling happy is genetic-literally-my cousins on my Dad's side are all happy. Their spouses say they have rose colored glasses. My Dad has had a lot of crazy difficulties in his life and you would never know, he is fun to be around and always uplifting.

Next, it is important to know that I do actually have all the normal emotions. I complain just like everyone else and if you haven't heard me yet, you just don't know me well enough.

Lastly, I enjoy being happy! I prefer thinking happy thoughts. Life is difficult and always challenging but that does not mean I have to be unhappy. It's easy to get caught in negative thinking, but when I take the time to reframe my thoughts and smile it really makes a difference.

Kicks and Giggles

2012-01-21T16:11:00.000-08:00

Jack has started to laugh at himself (in the mirror) and thinks things are funny, it is AWESOME!!!

Jack is Three months!

2012-01-09T19:31:00.000-08:00

Jack is growing so much! He is starting to look like a baby instead of a newborn.

He's learning new tricks:
-He can hold up his head
-He likes to sit/stand up to look around
-He is much more aware of his surroundings and will focus on objects across the room
-He has begun LOVING his blanket
-He recognizes Mike and I and looks for us when he hears our voices

He is a seriously happy little guy! Things that make him smile/laugh include:
-peek-a-boo
-conversations
-songs
-motor mouth noises and more

He is adorable and we are lucky to have him!!

Good News!!

2012-01-05T15:28:00.000-08:00

It's about time for some right? Thankfully Mike got a job this week. It is a part-time position but since I am working with the University to train student dietitians and picked up a PRN position at the local hospital, it works perfectly. His schedule is flexible and I am out of the house doing professional things to keep up my skills.

I never thought I would be a working mom and during the busy times I have a hard time with it but it is also nice to be a practicing clinician. It is always hard to find good RD jobs here in Logan so I was very blessed to be hired. PRN is a great thing too because I can pick up more shifts when we need the money and am only required to work one weekend a month.

The best part about our work situation is, with Mike's job being flexible, he is able to watch Jack instead of sending him off to others for care. This is a blessing to me because I have a hard time thinking about the amount of time he would be required to spend with people who are not us and how that can be an influence over time. Not to say I mind leaving him for short amounts of time with babysitters but I just feel very strongly about him being raised by us as much as possible. I also know that is not always a possibility for some families so I am grateful it worked out this way.

I always go back to a phrase that came to my mind once as I was praying about some difficulties I will always have to deal with, "It is not what I want but it is what I need". Through my difficulties I grow and become better and I have seen it. This situation may not seem ideal to some but it is providing for our needs and opening doors for other possibilities. I am so grateful for this good news. God is good and I appreciate every miracle I get. :)

Happy New Year!

2011-12-30T20:54:00.001-08:00

Duck billed platypus, what could be better!

Grinchy

2011-12-16T11:36:00.000-08:00

I wanted to find a picture of the Grinch's heart growing but I couldn't. I think that visual is the best way to describe how it feels to have a kid. I thought I was just fine without him but now I can't imagine how I felt before him.

The best part is it makes me realize how Heavenly Father and Jesus love me and everyone else. It is the perfect time of year for such a realization! It explains the motivation Christ had when performing the atonement and dying on the cross, even in forgiving those who hurt him. This perspective change has been eye opening. I always knew I was loved but I didn't get it until now. The crazy thing is that their love for me is beyond my capacity to love my baby. How is that for amazing!

I am so grateful to know how precious I am to God! I am so grateful that I get to give my love to my little man! He is absolutely precious to me.

Merry Christmas, I am sure I won't write again until then but I hope it is wonderful for you and full of family and the spirit of love!

Blessing Day

2011-12-04T20:48:00.000-08:00

Baby Jack was blessed today! He is obviously a special kid and I cried even though I thought, for sure, I wouldn't. There is just something so special about having my husband be able to bless our son through the priesthood of God. It is amazing!

Most of the family was able to make it. We missed one local family of cousins since they had a sibling blessing to visit today, but otherwise we had a great turn out and had a wonderful time visiting. My MIL made the party full of food, warmth, and caring. We even had friends make the long drive from Toole to visit!

I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family! It is so wonderful to have my baby here and be with my husband. Life is really sweet when you think about it. I was reminiscing last night about those moments in life that are so spectacular that just thinking of them brings waves of happy emotions. The most memorable and happy things I could think of were the day I married Mike and the day I gave birth to Jack. It is amazing how such days change your life forever in the best ways. I look forward to experiencing more days like that. Today was not life altering but it sure was fun. I love days like that too.

Jack is fascinated with my hair! He stares at it all the time and grabs it whenever he can (as seen above). He's adorable!

Big Weekend!

2011-12-02T16:09:00.001-08:00

It is time for his blessing day! Mr. Jack is turning two months (this is a picture at one month) this week and I am turning 29. It is weekend full of excitement!

My family is making a voyage to Logan for Jack's blessing on Sunday. This is a huge occasion, my family rarely come to visit and all of them will make it even better (crazier, but better). I am the 8th of 9 kids in my family and I am blessed to have most of my siblings in state. We are a loud and jovial bunch so you know we make a great party! We've also got a lot of awesome relatives from Mike's side and good friends.

Mike's family is hosting for us since our apartment is a little on the small side for a group of this size. My MIL is making some awesome food and I guarantee we will all be plenty full and satisfied!

My birthday is the next day so it is going to be a great day! I love birthdays!!!

Missed Miscarriage

2011-11-22T17:34:00.000-08:00

I know my last post was depressing and this one does not sound any better. Life is good so no worries there. I just learned from a friend she had a missed miscarriage recently. I had one and found it difficult to find anything online about it so I thought I'd do a little write up for those who would like to hear about it.

For me, I was 10 weeks pregnant and went in for the initial ultrasound. The doctor looked and found no heartbeat. The baby measured 6 weeks and 3 or 4 days. I was heart broken and shocked. The doctor said we would wait a couple of weeks before scheduling a D&C. Thankfully, it all came out naturally and no surgery was needed.

The process of the miscarriage is easily understood. The emotional journey is completely different. You would think that because it is so early you can move on quickly and not be devastated. The truth is that you mourn for the loss of a future. The plan of this baby will not work out. No matter how quickly you are able to have a successful pregnancy you still feel the loss of that little one. It was a person and a part of your life and it cannot be replaced. You notice the due date pass and wonder who it would have been.

Finding out at the ultrasound appointment is a difficult thing. With missed miscarriage you continue to have pregnancy symptoms after the death of the baby. There is no indication of anything being wrong. It is a shock to learn it is not viable.

After you learn that you are going to miscarry you begin to feel resentful to your body. Why didn't it realize the baby died sooner? When is it going to figure it out? You feel stuck and out of control. You feel like you are in limbo and it will not improve until the little one is out of there.

There is a rebellion against the pregnancy guidelines. I ate seared tuna steak just because I wasn't putting anyone at risk. I ate nothing but sugary junk for a couple of days.

Family and friends are very helpful. I had a lot of great support and I am extremely grateful! Some comments I would avoid are "you'll get another one", stories about people who had miscarriages and get pregnant quickly, and anything else that references moving on. Good ideas include recognizing the loss, commiserating, and just listening.

It does get better eventually but it sucks. It has been over a year and I still think about it and feel a loss. My heart goes out to those who are struggling through it.

Disappointment

2011-11-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

It is difficult to feel like most of life has been exploding with joy for the last few years. Obviously, there are moments of joy and things I would never change (ie Mr. Jack, who could not see the joy in him?).

It got hard around the time of my internship. Living apart from my husband while both living at our parent's houses and seeing each other on the weekends was rough. We were making very little money since Mike had decided to do an internship type thing during that time at USU instead of finding work (it was 2009 so hiring was going to get better right?).

Then my internship was done and Mike was trying to create a position for himself at USU with the help and support of his boss. It worked for about 6 months. (Enough time for us to save up for the next year+). At the end of that six months Mike lost his job and I miscarried the same week. Thankfully, Jack decided to come quickly after this so the heartbreak, though still there, was eased a bit.

So then I didn't get into my master's program and was sorely disappointed but then had another opportunity work out for master's school. I had a project that I was stoked about and worked hard on starting in July.

My project got canned today. It has been one of the most frustrating experiences of my life and I was looking forward to it being really rewarding once the hard stuff was done. I have given so much time, effort, and energy into this thing and to have it get cancelled is really a let-down. It feels like all my work is worthless and was viewed as such by those who canned it. The communication on this thing has only recently gotten to be helpful. I finished a rough draft of it in August and only began receiving feedback in October. Now they say I require too much feedback, and that I'm too technical. The best is the line, "This is just going to work better for you". Really? How do you know? Why wasn't I consulted about this?Mike is still job hunting and with this loss also comes a loss of money for us.

It sucks. I'm feeling sorry for myself. I may just eat junk food and watch my period movies while holding my baby all day. Take that!

I have no idea what God has in store for us, but I pray it comes quickly. I'm trying to be patient but having life be so unsettled all the time is really difficult. Pray for us if you would, I would really appreciate it.

Halloween!

2011-11-01T11:16:00.001-07:00

I got looking at blogs this morning and all the cute costumes everyone had. I thought to myself, "When I have a kid...wait, I DO have a kid!" I know its sad that I forgot, he just seems like such a natural part of my life. I always expected having kids to feel like a huge and crazy change and it is an adjustment but it's really pleasant and wonderful. So we went to visit G-ma and G-pa Young and he was able to meet Great G-ma Miller.

Jack was a little monster since that was how we announced his coming.

Sacagawea

2011-10-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

Have you heard the story of Sacagawea having a baby on the trail and getting up and continuing on her trek with Lewis and Clark? Yeah, she was amazing.

After I gave birth, I could hardly sit myself up and pick up my baby from his hospital cradle. It was serious effort! The first night I sent Mike home to get some sleep on a real bed, his hospital option was a foot short, and stayed with baby alone. I kind of forgot that babies need to be tended to in the night and ended up spending most of the night grimacing as I walked him around my room.

A week later, we went for a walk. It was short by 'normal me' standards but by 'postpartum me' it was way too much. The last 10 minutes or so I was feeling weak and light headed and Mike said to me, "Are you alright? You don't look so good". For the next week I could feel every bone in my pelvis. Sitting was a nightmare.

It has mostly past now. I get some pain now and then but its gone for the most part. I haven't taken drugs in over a week. I went on a shorter but normal walk yesterday and am doing just fine.

Again I ask, how did Sacagawea do it?

Little Man

2011-10-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

So we got a little man this weekend! It was really quite lucky that he came since he was due next week and most of my sisters babies have been overdue. He is just adorable and I am so happy to have him be here!

So I want to share my labor and delivery but I'll keep it short and non-graphic. I have mentioned here before that I was doing hypnobirthing. I wanted to do an unmedicated natural birth.

So I ended up beginning labor at 4 am on Thursday morning (Contractions were 6-8 min apart). I was excited because I knew I was going to be meeting the baby soon. I tried to focus on working and not making a big deal about being in labor and did fine for awhile. My sister was going to come so around 9 pm we decided to give her a call and have her come. She got here at 11 and we went to the hospital at 2 am because I was getting shakey and nauseous. Once at the hospital they determined that my cervix was still at a 1 and I needed to go home (contractions were 3-4 min apart). Not great news when you think you are close to having a baby.

Day 2-they sent me home with medicine so I could get some sleep. The medicine basically made it so I could sleep in between contractions. We went on lots of walks and saw the doctor's office to see if I was progressing, I had made it to a 2 (contractions were 2-3 min apart). The doctor stripped the membranes. The contractions became intense enough I wanted to be on the ground, listening to my hypnobabies, and breathing through it.

Around 7 pm we went back to the hospital. They gave me about 2 hours of observation and in that time I moved to a 2+ so between that, my temperature being a little high, and baby's heart rate being slightly elevated they let me stay. At this point I was quite miserable, exhausted, and feeling defeated since my progress was so slow. I remember thinking, "If I keep this rate up, I'll be in labor for 10 days!" I had been in labor for over 40 hours and at this point I decided it was better to get the pitocin and epidural so I could enjoy the birth of my baby. They actually gave me a low dose of pitocin and some pain meds to see if it would get my cervix moving first but it did nothing so I got the epidural.

Day 3-The epidural was very relieving but I still had one spot where I could feel the contractions in the front of my hip so I was resting but no way could I sleep. Suddenly, I could feel the contractions everywhere, they had my pitocin at a 5 and I was at a 7+ and entering transition. We found out later that the epidural had only actually worked for a few minutes and had slipped out of place but the effects take 2 hours to wear off. They had to observe me before they could replace the epidural so I got to practice more of my natural training for between and hour and an hour and a half. Some of the contractions were 10 minutes long and had lots of peaks. It was super exciting. I was happy to get the epidural back and they drugged me pretty good. They turned the pitocin down at this point.

The next few hours were much less exciting and I ended up not progressing well without the pitocin. I was at a 9+ for two hours (they say once you are dilated to a certain point, it should go quickly...)so they decided to put the pitocin back on. They had to turn it up to a 12 to get me to progress. So finally at 1 pm Saturday, I was ready to push. I was excited but still exhausted from no sleep and little or no food for three days. I had a great pushing experience. The doctor had to hurry to get there and I delivered him at 1:49. It was a total of 30 minutes of pushing plus a break to wait for the doctor.

So my labor was a total of 58 hours. Seeing my baby was the best moment I could have imagined. It was incredible to hold him and see his face. He looks a lot like his Daddy and he even runs at his Dad's temperature. I love being a mommy. My heart is different and it is lovely. I feel so lucky to have a beautiful family.

Wiggle Worm

2011-10-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

I was having some cramping last night and it made me think about actually having the baby. Of course I am excited to see him but I just realized that I would really miss my little wiggly boy in my belly. He is so fun to watch and feel. What a fun experience to have grown a baby so now we'll just have to wait and see how parenthood goes. :)

Conference

2011-10-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

It's finished today but don't worry, they record it and you can watch it online if you missed it. They will do more tomorrow 10am and 2 pm. It is seriously so uplifting, I hope you'll listen!

If you don't know where to find it here you go:

http://lds.org/general-conference/watch?lang=eng

How awesome is it to hear living prophets of Heavenly Father speak? Conference ROCKS!

School Days

2011-09-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

I had a day today. Maybe it was the 10 hours of stats but I am really interested to see how going back to school will impact my future. Today I just did not want to be doing school. I wanted to be free to clean my house or car or organize things for the baby (except my nesting self already took care of all that within the last few months).

It could be that it was Monday and we had just finished a fun weekend. We had a campfire on Friday with my also very pregnant friend Jenn and her husband and Mike's cousin Millie and her husband. The next day was Tyler's (Mike's little brother) friend birthday party so we played laser tag in the building we own, it was so much fun. Even if all the players were 16 and younger and I just shuffled around the building, it was so fun! Sunday I got released from my calling (probably a good thing) and we had a nice restful day. So maybe it was just getting back to the grind today.

This morning I opened my computer and prayed I would find nothing in my school e-mail. They always want something from me now it seems. I get so bogged down in assignments and projects and then they want more from me. It just seems like too much sometimes so I was happy to find it empty, until an e-mail showed up. :(

I guess I'm adjusting to getting back to having things to do. It is a lot harder than you would think. I enjoy being productive but when I work from 9-10 some days it begins to feel all consuming. I need balance, it grounds me. It will get better from here but I just had a day. I really am interested to see God's timeline for me so I can understand why it was the time to take on a master's degree when I was really pregnant and due mid-semester. I know it will be for my good, it is just hard to feel excited about it today.

Pregnancy vs 90 year old and squirrely

2011-09-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

In recent weeks I have found that I am able to relate exceedingly well to Mike's dear Grandma who is turning 90 in November. We talk about how our feet swell up and that its hard to move. She has sciatic issues and so do I. It's been a real bonding experience! :)

It makes me chuckle because I am 28 but with a big baby in my belly my body really acts like a senior citizen. If I take too big of steps, I know about it. I move at a snails pace and get winded.

The other day Mike and I went for a walk (we do that often and generally the same route) and somehow it wore out my pelvic region and lower abs. When I tried to get into bed I literally could not lift one of my legs. Mike was asking if he needed to lift me in when I decided to just fall in and get it over with. Thankfully that was only that sore for the night and next day. It was pretty comical trying to figure out how to work around it.

I think it is funny at this point because there is nothing I can do to change it and I would rather laugh than be angry or crying. I am grateful to be pregnant and to get my little guy here so soon. I certainly would not be sad if he decided to be a few weeks early. Mentally I feel 28 but physically I seriously feel old!

In other news, we've had a crazy scratching sound coming from our bedroom wall recently. It would be pretty loud and happen often. We talked to our manager about it and it turns out there was a squirrel living in between the wall that separates us from our neighbor's townhouse. He blocked the entry and the squirrel went berserk! The manager was actually nervous about being attacked! (by a squirrel!!!) He chattered out there until the guy left and then he ripped away roofing and wood to make a new door.

We informed our manager of the new development and then left for SLC over Labor Day. I haven't seen the squirrel since....I think he may have been murdered.

Tribute

2011-09-05T16:15:00.000-07:00

I have to say I was really lucky to be in the dietetics program when I was. I went through that intense time with 24 other women. They all happened to be incredible. The schooling was rigorous and we were all challenged to the max. I think because of those things, we all ended up as friends. We spent more time with each other than we did with spouses some semesters.

One of those amazing women died of cancer last night. It breaks my heart. She was a little older than I am, I think she was around 32 now. She was married for about 3 years and my heart goes out to her husband. She had not had kids yet. It is sad to me to think about her leaving this life without those experiences.

She was truly wonderful. She was sassy, confident, inquisitive, and motivated. She had become a massage therapist and owned her own business, been a missionary in Switzerland, gone back to school to be a dietitian, and worked as a professional in New Mexico.

Her diagnosis came last December. As a group, we were all shocked. Unfortunately, the girl had a seriously aggressive type. She made it through the surgery and first round of treatments and came out cancer-free. It came back a few months later and she didn't make it. Her attitude during her sickness was amazing. I was able to e-mail her and her words showed her courage to allow what was meant to be. She was strong in mind, full of faith, and happy. I will truly miss her. The world should truly miss her, she brought a vivacity, color, and individuality that is simply not replaceable.

Love to you Whit! I hope you are enjoying the other side.

Anticipation

2011-08-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

It's funny how there are so many emotions attached to having a baby. I am so excited most of the time. I like to day dream about what he'll look like and the fun we will have together. I am an optimistic realist so I also tend to think about the type of baby he will be, is he going to be colicky or mellow?

I had a nephew that I nannied when I was 14 who was a mess. He cried more than he did anything else. I remember holding this screaming 2 month old baby and staring out the window hoping my sister's car would show up for hours. Eventually, I got used to it but he was one tough cookie of a baby! (and he was not even mine!) I hope that experience is not repeated!

Lately it seems like I am anticipating the loss of freedom and overall change of lifestyle that accompanies the birth of a first baby. It is a little overwhelming when you realize this change is coming and there is nothing you can do about it. That said, I think it will be a good change. My life has been pretty calm (with day to day happenings) for the last year and in some ways I think it will be nice to have a little buddy to take care of, much more fulfilling and personally satisfying.

I hope that I fall in love the moment I see him. I already stare at my belly fondly and love how he moves it all over. He is active and I love to watch him but seeing him in person is going to be amazing!

My life is changing forever. I know it will be challenging but it will likely be the most rewarding thing I do with my time during this phase of life.

Those are not my feet!

2011-08-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

Saturday we attended a rodeo in Logan. Mike's family all went together and got reserved seats under the bandstand. The problem is that the weather in Utah has been much more humid lately and there was no breeze so combine that with my pregnant body and I was uncomfortable. It was night time but the air was so hot and not moving-yuck!

When we got home I took a shower. As I got out of the shower I looked at my feet to discover they were hardly my own. I have NEVER seen my feet look like that. I should have taken a picture but they were seriously ugly and I was shocked.

I spent the day yesterday trying to get the edema down. Thankfully, this morning they are much better! I can see my ankles, tendons, and everything. It is truly an interesting experience to be pregnant. I love the baby part but some of the other stuff is super strange. Yay for the third trimester!

Dogs

2011-08-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

Most people know that I am not an animal lover. I grew up with cats and I like them but I don't love them. I also found out that I am allergic to their dander when we visited a friend with several in-door only cats.

Dogs are an entirely different story. I did not grow up with dogs but I did have a paper route for the greater part of my younger life. I was chased but never bitten for years. When I was 16 and had left the world of papers for greater things, like being a bagger at Albertson's, I got attacked by some neighbors dogs as I was taking the garbage out at my parent's house.

It was all surreal really, I dropped the garbage in the big blue container and turned to walk back to the house. Suddenly, I heard charging dogs through my garage. I looked up and panicked and ran to the nearest fence to hop it. I turned to see how close they were but they were right behind me. The leader repeatedly jumped at my face and bit me. I put my arms up to protect my face and turned my back to the dogs. I began screaming but felt like nothing was coming out. I glanced over to see the dogs walking away from me, glaring as they went. I still have no idea what prompted them to leave me but I like to think Heavenly Father sent an angel to protect me.

The attack lasted less than a minute but by the end part of my lip was dangling, I could see exposed muscle in my arm, and I had several other facial and arm wounds. I had plastic surgery that night (in case you ever wondered why my lips look so awesome!). My lip was swollen past my nose (like a duck if you need a visual). I spent the next five days in the hospital on IV antibiotics. The dogs were not up to date on their rabies shots and had to be killed so they could check the brain matter for rabies. Thankfully they did not have it.

For this reason, I tolerate dogs. I realize that most family pets are not attackers and that it would be unfair to judge all dogs by that experience. I have been a missionary and met many dogs that way.

I would not say I am afraid of dogs. I have a traumatic response when dogs charge or I can hear them running at me before I see them.

I married a dog lover so we are likely to have a dog in the future. I even like my sister's dog Gracie (a pitbull). She is a really nice dog.

So why the story? Well, I have a pet peave that spawns from my attack experience so I will just say, please keep your dogs on a leash. You trust them and you know them but people like me just don't know or trust them. I have been charged walking around several neighborhoods, in the canyons hiking, on my street, all over.

I realize that dog lovers might call me a dog hater but I do not hate dogs. I hate that people do not act courteously toward others by leashing their animals even if they are harmless. It takes five seconds to leash them and it would really add to my peace of mind. Thank you to all those who DO leash their pets when on walks, I really appreciate it!!!

What say ye to birthing classes?

2011-07-26T14:49:00.000-07:00

So I know many out there are mommies and I was wondering what are the reasons for taking the child birth classes offered through the hospitals and stuff? I have read up like crazy on the subject and am practicing hypnobirthing to get ready for the big day. I have seen four births thanks to my sisters (I really do appreciate having an idea of what to expect that way), the last one was just a year ago. Is there any benefit to us taking a class? I do want to tour the facility so I can have a better visual of what to expect but we could do that separately. Anyway, please share thoughts and opinions on the topic, I am open to hearing input!

President Hinckley, Motherhood, and Attitude

2011-07-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Have I ever shared how much I love President Hinckley? I think we were kindred spirits. He was an amazing cheerleader for increasing confidence, recognizing what we are doing instead of what we are not. I just love him and I miss him all the time. I am grateful we got to have him as the prophet of this earth for so long but alas, all good things must end.

The other day I had a conversation with someone who said something like, "I cannot wait for you to get to the place where you call me because you are burnt out being a mom". When I got off of the phone I thought about that. Why? Why would someone not want me to enjoy my life all of the time? I know kids become part of the day to day routine but does that mean I will not appreciate what I have? I still appreciate Mike and we've been married for 5 years. I appreciate our families and I've dealt with mine for 28 and 1/2 years. I get frustrated with things and people all the time but kids are so dear and so fleeting. I know there will be rough days but I hope I can keep a good attitude and see that I will never get that day again. That baby will never be the same again.

I remembered someone at conference once referring to adult onset pessimism. I thought it was President Hinckley but it wasn't so as I was looking for his quote on it, I found this one. I love it and want it as a theme for myself, especially the first line.

"I come this morning with a plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that we "accentuate the positive." I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his course. I am not suggesting that our conversation be all honey and blossoms. Clever expression that is sincere and honest is a skill to be sought and cultivated.

What I am suggesting and asking is that we turn from the negativism that so permeates our society and look for the remarkable good in the land and times in which we live, that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears."

-Pres. Hinckley (I love this guy!)

*Also, I am collecting addresses for showers I have one in Logan and one in SLC so if you would like to come, I would love to have you! Leave your address in the comments or send it to holligunz@gmail.com.

Guidance

2011-07-07T14:38:00.000-07:00

I wrote last time about the master's project that has been extended to me. I really do feel crazy for even looking at it but at the same time, it is the only thing that seems to be working out for us lately. I have tried jobs and other school ideas that haven't worked out, Mike has been working on all sorts of things and nothing has come of it, yet. I think it is time to look at what is working and recognize it as an opportunity that has been coordinated just for me. The timing is certainly not ideal but it feels like the right thing to do.

The people I am working with at USU have really made an effort to make this work for me. They are aware of my circumstances and are nothing but supportive. Somethings in the opportunity were not ideal for me and having a baby so I told them and they figured out a way to have it work for me. They have really accommodated me and are very supportive that I can do it all. I hope so!

The next two years of my life are likely to be some of the most memorable I have had yet. They are going to be incredibly challenging but hopefully very fulfilling as well. I feel grateful that something is working out for us. Life is never what we expect and very often its is not what we want but it is all about what we need and who we need to become. I am grateful that God believes in me enough to keep challenging me to be better.

What a day!

2011-06-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got news from my boss at USU letting me know of a potential opportunity to get an MS degree. I had an e-mail a week ago from a school friend asking me about graduate school too. The first e-mail I told her I am having a baby and am just not so interested in it at the moment. The second e-mail caught my interest a little more and made me stop and think. I am not sure on all of the details yet but the project is exactly what I would like to do professionally and it might take as much time outside of the home as my PT USU job that I was planning to continue after baby anyway. It is truly a complicated choice but I think I might actually go for it! I feel a little crazy for even thinking it but it is a great opportunity and I want a master's degree anyway so.....we'll see. I'm getting more info tomorrow. I just want to be a good mom so I will definitely evaluate my options very carefully because it would not be worth being away from a baby for too much time. Sometimes life feels so complicated and ironic yet inspired and amazing. It is strange.

The other thing that happened today was my sister in law in Ohio collapsed right before my brother walked out of the door to go to work. Thank heavens he is doing his medical residency and was able to get everything taken care of. Who knows who has their kids but I'm sure they are taken care of. It turns out my sis-in-law had a heart attack due to a torn artery. This woman had a baby in April! Yikes! Thank heavens it was a pretty easy fix (as far as surgeries go) and they put a stent in to keep the artery open and block the tear. Apparently she is doing just fine but it was really scary. She is 37ish and having a heart attack in that young of a woman is extremely rare. (We women have a protective hormone called estrogen that reduces our risk of heart attack until we lose it during menopause, then we have the same risk level as men).

Anyway, crazy day. Thankfully everyone is alive and doing well.

It's a......

2011-06-24T13:28:00.001-07:00

Boy, that's right! We're so excited about our little guy. I've been organizing up a storm to get our house ready. My sister had a baby a year ago so we are blessed to have her hand-me-downs to help our little guy have what he needs. I've gone through bags of clothes, borrowed a dresser from Mike's parents, organized the clothes in the dresser, reorganized closets to accommodate our new addition. We're in a two bedroom apartment and use our second room as an office so now it will function as office/baby room. It will definitely work for now even though we're a little crowded. I just feel blessed to be taken care of and have our needs met. We're truly lucky!!!

Weight Gain

2011-06-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

This is a bit of a psychological game during pregnancy for me. I went from attempting to lose weight for myself to wanting to gain weight for the baby. My personal fitness/health goals are simply to be a healthy individual. I want to exercise to stay in good shape and I want to eat healthy so my body functions as perfectly as possible. Those goals are still the same now or then but the difference is that I also need to gain weight while being healthy and keep it in the appropriate gain range.

Do any of you have perfectionistic brains? I really enjoy things to work out exactly as they are described. For instance, first trimester weight gain should be between 3-5 lbs and the rest of pregnancy you should gain 1 lb/wk. That is not how my body does it. I lost weight in the first and now I gain but it is slow. I swear I eat 3x what I used to. I even eat full fat ice cream now to help boost the calories. My doctor says I am fine so I feel fine after I see him but somehow my brain starts over-thinking between the appointments. It is annoying. I just want to gain a healthy amount of weight for the baby, not get stretch-marks (only 50% get them so I hope), and enjoy pregnancy as much as possible (rather than trying to control something as tricky as weight). I guess it all goes under the mantra of: Worry about the things you can control and let God take care of the rest. I wish I was better at not worrying-I'm working on it.

Things to remember about being pregnant

2011-05-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

This post may have continuations in the future as I notice more things but I want it to serve as a reminder for myself next time I get pregnant so I know what to expect. I think most of this stuff you hear about before you get pregnant but it doesn't really sink in until you see it in yourself.

Bladder pressure-imagine wearing those jeans that you love but are snug at the moment, still fit, but you have to lay down to zip them up. Now, drink about a half gallon of water and then jump in the car for an hour-two hour trip. The pressure you feel upon arrival is similar to the pressure that happens during pregnancy but especially the first trimester. It wakes you up at night because it is so intense. Thankfully, mine let up a little later on.
Alien chest-Holy cow I have crazy veins in my chest. When I look at myself I feel like I should be in the Borg from Star Trek (the next generation-I watched it with my dad growing up, I am a bit of a nerd).
Voracious hunger-It strikes suddenly and you feel like you haven't eaten all day and you could eat a horse. The funny thing for me is that I'll eat some food and then feel completely satisfied, it doesn't take much to satisfy the crazy hunger but then it comes back about every hour on the hour.
Smells-I have a terrible nose usually so now that it is sensitive I feel like I can smell everything! I'm grateful I have not been vomity since this started. I know some people who cannot even cook in their own kitchen because it makes them so sick. I'm lucky and I know it.
Round ligament ouchies-This has probably been the hardest thing for me (which is nothing compared to what some women go through and I can't complain at all because I know other people who would love more than anything to be pregnant. I am super grateful for this opportunity and hope others get to have it soon.) So this is what happens when either I am lying in my bed or on the couch, I might laugh or make a sudden movement and am struck with this stabbing pain in my side that dulls and stays for a few minutes. It had calmed down but then I over-worked myself last weekend so it's unhappy again. It's all about finding a balance with the round ligaments. My Dr told me the ligaments are being stretched similarly to trying to hyper-extend your elbow.
Hip stuff-It may be nerves or it may be joints/muscles, who knows. The ultrasound tech told me she had similar problems but as her belly expanded and gave baby more room, the discomfort went away. It was pretty bad from 18-21ish weeks and has been much more doable the last few weeks. No matter what I do (exercising vs resting vs walking vs sitting) it doesn't change when it decides to hurt so I just pretend it is not there and move on.
Numb leg-1/3 my upper thigh is numb due to a pinched nerve. It is only surface and I can feel pressure if I push on it. I may feel pins and needles when I rub it but just touching it produces no sensation.
Moving baby-I love this, it makes me so happy. He plays jungle gym in my insides and I can feel him daily at this point. I even watched my belly move the other day-I just cannot believe how miraculous it is to have a growing baby in my tummy. I love it.

Overall, I've had a great time being pregnant. It is a new experience for me and I am enjoying it very much.

The universe is out to get me!

2011-04-27T14:33:00.001-07:00

I know that phrase sounds paranoid but seriously, my life is having very little work out right now. As far as Mike jobs go we've had some really things look really promising only to have job descriptions changed after he's applied so he is no longer a candidate. It is so strange. He is a seriously qualified person and sure you can blame the economy but that starts to sound silly after we've been working on it since January with no replies. Even places where we've had "ins" have not worked out.

Then there's me, I just may have high blood pressure (maybe its just stress, maybe). I found that nugget out last week and then this week I found out that I did not get into my graduate program for next year.

I am beginning to feel like nothing will work out even though I know it's the wrong attitude. I really think that God is working on some very specific details that are not in place yet and I just need to wait longer. It sure is frustrating though. What am I supposed to do now?

PS-I should mention that we do have good news too, we are expecting a baby! So that ought to give me plenty to do even without school. :)

Just You Wait.

2011-04-13T12:31:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking recently about that phrase, "Just you wait...". Most of the time when people use it they are also saying, "Buckle up, you're going to be miserable. Just FYI." Who couldn't help but respond, "Well, thanks, that's exactly what I am after. Misery is the best."

It seems too that no matter what part of life you are in you hear this phrase, usually unsolicited from you, in preparation for the next one. For instance:

Single life-"Just you wait until you get married, then you'll understand." -so menacing!
Married w/o children-"Just you wait, you are going to lose control of your bladder after pregnancy, one sneeze and it's all over for you. Just you wait." -Yikes!
Married and pregnant-"You'll never sleep again, just you wait." -Thanks for the heads up?
Married with one child-"You think its hard now, just you wait for your second."-so threatening!

I'm not exactly sure what people say to people past that point but there's got to be something. Maybe, "Just you wait until you have teenagers". It goes on and on and why? Why do we feel a need to fill others with dread? Why can we not be focused on the happy things? Life is hard enough to deal with so why not give people support and encouragement?

I am guilty of this too but I think at least one of my stories is justifiable. I had a sister-in-law who had been married for six months at the time. I was conversing with her and another sis-in-law about those times when you or your spouse say certain things that accidentally yet completely offend you or your spouse. She said, "Oh my husband will never do that to me, he's so nice and very thoughtful." I smiled (knowing that my brother would never do it on purpose but it is nearly inevitable when you live with another human being) and said, "Just you wait." I think that was an excusable use but from now on, I think I'm going to try dropping that phrase from my personal language. There are just better things to say to people.

Conference Thoughts

2011-04-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Last October conference I was somehow unready for conference. I loved the talks when I went back and listen/read them on my own but somehow I just was not feeling it on conference weekend. Thankfully, this time I was way excited. There were honestly a lot of talks that I enjoyed and look forward to going back and relistening or reading in the near future.

Elder Scott's talk was my favorite! I loved the way he talked about his wife. She passed away a few years ago and I thought his discussion on her was such a great tribute to their love and life together. Of course, it also makes me so grateful to have a husband I love and respect. He is a wonderful person.

It seems like a lot of times in my lives I have seen examples of marriage to dos and not to dos. When I was single, I recall some of the people I am closest to husband bashing for years, and to a point that it put a negative picture in my impressionable mind about marriage and men. I knew good men, my dad and brothers are wonderful, but I was concerned I would never be able to find someone outside of my family who was a good man. I told my Heavenly Father repeatedly that when I met the one I was supposed to marry he needed to hit me in the head to let me know. I enjoyed single life and being independent. I liked flirting and meeting lots of people.

When I met Mike, I knew immediately he was worth paying attention to. I think that was God hitting me in the head. It was truly an immediate reaction. As we dated, it just became clearer and clearer to me that this was my guy. When he finally decided that I was the girl for him (after five whole months of dating) we got engaged. I cried nearly every night we were engaged because of the hard marriages I had seen and my own terror implanted deep in my mind by those I am close to. It was a scary time for me, I was giving myself to someone I loved but who knows what can happen in a few years.

Well, it has been a few years and I can honestly say that he is my best friend and closest confidant on the planet. We have both made a lot of changes in the last four and a half years but together we have worked to become better people and influence each other for the good. My marriage has been the most beneficial relationship of my life. It can be hard some days but it is completely worth any effort or work it takes. I always knew when I did get married it would be a relationship I would give my best efforts for because it matters the most.

During conference, Elder Nelson told a story of a country family who lost a young wife due to infection after childbirth. It got me thinking of how I would react if I lost my husband. I have to say I know I would be devastated. The only comfort I would have would be the fact that he is mine for eternity as I keep my covenants to my Heavenly Father. Having eternal families is the best promise and reassurance our Father could provide us in this life. I know that He has provided these opportunities for us and invite anyone who does not yet know to view the talks above and check out the website for the LDS church. It is the true gospel of Christ and I promise it will bring you peace. God is good! Marriage is wonderful! I am so grateful for a great spouse. I really don't think I could ask for more.

Thinking

2011-03-14T17:40:00.000-07:00

I've been crafting things to post about but it seems like nothing really is sticking for me. I always feel like I need to feel attached to my posts to make them what they should be but instead today I am just going to share my random thoughts.

I had considered writing a post about the song 'Green Eyes' by Coldplay because it is one of those songs I just love. When it comes on, it just moves me.

Another thought was about the FDA coming out about HCG drops and saying they were illegal and fraudulent. I heard it from some of my students and it made me happy. I've even seen perfectly skinny people be seduced by these drops. I truly feel that habits should be the focal point in weight loss and healthy living rather than fad diets that cause yo-yo weights and ultimately unhappy people. Sustainability is the key.

I've thought about writing about Mike but I do that a lot. I love him, of course, and you all know that.

Updates seem ludicrous because there is nothing different to say. I'm still PT at USU and Mike is doing a consulting job up there. Come May we're both out of work completely so we're still on the hunt and hoping things will work out. I did start crocheting again in my free time. I learned how to make some cute flowers so that is exciting.

One more idea I had was to talk about my working out and how much my muscles have improved in the last year. Its awesome but I didn't want to be braggy. I do insanity 4xweek and pilates on a reformer 1xweek. We have a great friend that teaches our pilates class and it has really made a difference for my core, I love it!

So on that note, I hope you enjoy the randimity that is my mind and maybe I'll find something great to write about soon. Otherwise, this may be what you get forever!!! :)

Happy V-Day

2011-02-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

I love any excuse for a little romance! Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours. Also, check out the manslater, it could come in handy today! :)

Update

2011-02-08T11:08:00.000-08:00

The good news is there is no more bad news at the moment. I am finally feeling settled into my discombobulated life. Mike is still job hunting. Nothing has worked yet but he has gotten a consulting gig that will, with my salary, meet our needs. As long as we have a place to live and food to eat, I really can't complain. Mike's parents have also been giving us gift cards to restaurants for Christmas and b-days so we even get to go out to eat occasionally.

Have you ever thought about how pampered we are compared to our ancestors? Even my Dad's family grew up in a one room log cabin (in the 1900s) on a ranch. My grandma had nine children there. My Dad was the only child born in a hospital (Rock Springs, WY 1943). They only moved to a real house when my g-pa got ill with a heart condition. Can you imagine going from sharing a room with everyone in your family, potty time outside in the out house (winter, can you imagine!?), Cooking in the living room, dirt flooring to having a life that we are all used to? We are so spoiled.

Really, my life is not so bad. I still have a bathroom in my apartment. I have food that comes from a magical super market, the food appears there without any effort on my part. I only have to show up and it is there for my enjoyment and nourishment. It even works through wintertime. I have no idea how to can or preserve foods because I simply purchase my food. My carpet is well worn but it is not dirt. I have a wall separating my cooking space from my living room (did not have that with our first apartment so that is a shiny new thing for us). Life is good. I really cannot complain.

One exciting piece of news is that I am working on getting into graduate school next fall. My application to the school of graduate studies is complete. I am only waiting on acceptance there and then onto applying for my program: master of dietetics administration. It is a mix between a dietetics degree and an MBA. I only have 15 credits (~6 classes) to finish it and its all online. I am pretty excited. I promised my mission pres I would do it and now is the time. Yay for more school!

Wardrobe Whoopsie

2011-01-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

I got my first cowl neck sweater for Christmas this year. I was a little nervous to buy it since it seems a little ostentatious, but the sweater was a great color and style so I did it. I have worn it two times. The first time I wore it Mike complimented it and I was very pleased with it.

The second time (yesterday) I was babysitting for my brother and his wife (four kids, adorable but very busy). We were trying to get out the door for church. Mike had them all getting into the car and I was throwing clothes on as fast as I could. I put on my sweater and something was just not right. It had two seams down the back and was longer than I remembered and the shoulder spots were all wrong. I thought as I looked in the mirror, "Why did I buy this sweater? Its not even cute let alone flattering!" With that I ran out the door to church.

After church the parents were home and sent me off to take a nap, which I very much appreciated! (I don't sleep well at other people's homes so I took some nyquil the night before to knock myself out but I didn't get to sleep it all off so I was dying. Shot myself in the foot with that one!). I woke up and put my sweater back on. I looked in the mirror and the seams had disappeared and it fit nicely and everything. I thought, a little worried about my sanity,
"I guess I was hallucinating but it seemed so real!"

After a few hours or so it occurred to me that the neck of the sweater may be big enough that I wore it upside-down (cowl neck around my torso so the flattering nice part of the sweater had been around my neck with the side tag at the bottom sticking out). I double checked the seams on the neck to be sure and I was right. I told Mike and showed him when we got home. It was true, I spent half of the day wearing my sweater upside-down. I'm glad that one got cleared up!

Family History

2011-01-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

My relief society had an activity last night to teach us about the new.familysearch.org. I brought my laptop and linked into their network. I was excited about adding in my parents and grandparents, but I couldn't remember their birthdays for the life of me. I also forgot that since several of them are dead I could look for them that way instead of inserting a new name. Anyway, I didn't make much progress.

This morning when I looked at my lappy, it

was still on one of my tabs so I decided to check it out. I just dinked around on my side and haven't looked at Mike's but I am surprised to see that some of the names end so early. One line I tried to see how far back I could get it and went all the way to 210 BC! Holy cow! Can you imagine living back then? I saw some dates that showed some of these distant relatives lived in the days of Christ, what would it have been like? What if you could have heard Paul preach in Rome? Wow, wow, wow!

Kudos to those who have worked so hard on my family history, chances are, I have no idea who they are but I am grateful for their time in capturing such great information and remembering those who have gone before us. Maybe I will get into researching family history more than just discovering my lines but it is helpful for me to feel like these people really existed and try to envision the world at their time (thank you to historically accurate movie makers). They were just doing their best to live their lives and provide for their families just like me, but by my age they were likely on death's door with grandchildren surrounding them, yikes!

Well, in conclusion, I am happy to live today! I am happy to have been shown how to use family search and hope that I will be a credit to my ancestors. I respect their legacy and plan to leave a good one of my own someday. I am grateful for eternal families and hope to share that gift with the living and the dead throughout my life. Thanks to Heavenly Father and Jesus for making it all possible. God is good!

Covenant Keeping

2010-12-30T09:35:00.000-08:00

I recently had a niece get baptized. Miss Claire lives in Texas and we got to see her for the first time in a year at her baptism. She is a beautiful little girl and so full of life. I made a special bracelet for her symbolizing the different promises she made to her Heavenly Father and the promises He made back to her (See Mosiah 17: 8-10, and Moroni chapters 4 and 5).

One of those promises that we made at baptism is to mourn with those that mourn. Its been two years since I lost my grandpa and we lost a friend a year and a half ago (on our anniversary unfortunately). Mourning these losses and the losses of other things (that one time when my face was ripped up by a dog, etc...) has brought me a perspective of how I mourn. I tend to save my crying for private time, I prefer by myself but alone with Mike is fine too. I just want to pretend things are normal and that I am not falling apart inside. These times can really make you feel lost and beaten down.

The problem is, how to let people mourn with you? Those I am close to tend to ask, how do I help you? but others want to sit and cry with me and as I mentioned before I like to do that by myself. Someone recently told me that often times its the mourner who ends up comforting everyone else.

Sympathy and empathy are great things and I am not trying to knock those behaviors or say they are not needed. Some of the best comforting I have had was when someone just gave a hug and said, "I'm sorry for your loss" and left it at that. I know they were feeling my pain and they wanted me to know they cared.

Having someone to relate to is also helpful. When people have felt the pain of loss in a similar way, it is nice to talk to them because they have felt it for themselves so you don't have to comfort them, they understand. When my grandpa died, it was expected. He was 100 years old and was in failing health the last few months. It was still hard to have him gone. My siblings were able to relate to that feeling of loss and it was very comforting.

I have always felt I had great skills in comforting and mourning with those that mourn but as I have thought this out, I am not sure that I am. I have a compassionate nature and usually try to gauge people and react to their needs based on how I perceive they would like to be treated but the feelings of loss are so difficult to understand and I am worried that I may have been in the category of those that were comforted by the mourner. I think my new philosophy will be to follow those that I appreciated most by offering a hug and a "I'm sorry for your loss" and "Please let me know if I can help with anything". Perhaps having a spirit of mourning and feeling their loss so I can pray for them and support as needed is the best way to live up to my covenant.

Just a thought. what do you think? How do you like to be supported in times of loss? What do you do to mourn with those that mourn? I am truly interested because the answers are likely different for each person so please, let me know.

Split Pea Soup

2010-12-15T15:14:00.001-08:00

For some reason I love split pea soup. Mike tells me I must be 65 to like that stuff. I think it comes from having parents nearly a generation older than his. My dad is 67 this year and I am sure he likes split pea soup.

Have I mentioned how much I love my Dad? He is the best father a girl could ask for. He is the type of dad who would and has dropped everything to help me do something or save me from some dumb thing I did to myself. For instance, last year I got in a wreck two days after my b-day. It was December and we were having a snow storm. I was doing my internship and was hurrying to work. Mike was at my Dad's house in Sandy and preparing for his weekly drive back to Logan. Angie had recently moved in and had left her dog out of his cage while she was at school. Mike was attempting to put the dog in Angie's room but the dog pooped on the kitchen floor and bit him. You may ask what all this has to do with my accident? Well, I heard the confrontation which distracted me and caused me to turn onto the wrong street causing a need to turn around to get to the correct street and pulling out in front of a snow covered lightly colored Toyota or Ford I can't remember now.

With Mike headed to Logan for a meeting, I called my Dad. He works a few streets down from the accident. He immediately dropped everything and picked me up. He coached me through a few things since I had no idea what I was doing. When we left the sight of the accident he hugged me and hung out in his car with me while I bawled and freaked out due to shock and feeling stupid (this was my second accident but first caused by my stupidity). He took me out to lunch and ended up taking half of the day off just for me.

That is not the end of the story either. Our insurance does not cover a rental car. The initial assessment was that the car would be gone two weeks (right). My dad worked two jobs at the time and he ditched out on his second job just to drive me home for that first week. My brother had a car he wasn't using at the time so I ended up taking that after the first week but my Dad did all that just for me. He would tell you that he was just happy to not go into work but I know the truth, he just wanted me to be safe and happy.

This is only one example of SOOOO many where my Dad has shown how wonderful he is. He would give anyone the shirt off his back if they needed it. He still took care of my Mom after she moved out (she is mentally ill, there is no other reason for leaving such a quality person). He sent her money every month faithfully. She has never even thanked him and likely thought she deserved that money from him (she can be pretty selfish) but he did it out of his drive to take care of the ones he loves.

Can you blame me for liking split pea soup or licorice snaps or black licorice or salt water taffy or even considering to make fruit cake because it makes me think of him? I catch myself making sound effects for silly things and I know who it came from. My sense of humor and positive attitude despite everything came from him. Even my token blue eyes that I get complimented for quite often are actually his, he just hides them with glasses. My Dad is the loveliest person I know. I love him dearly and am grateful for his example every day. If you haven't met him just know that you are missing out on one of God's best creations.

Home

2010-11-29T09:22:00.001-08:00

There is nothing quite so lovely as escaping my woes to spend time with my family. We hadn't been to visit since the first weekend in October and we were both ready to get out of town when Thanksgiving week started. Luckily, my job was off that entire week and Mike's is flexible enough that he can work from my Dad's house.

Somehow, it ended too soon but the time with my family and my husband was so warm and cozy. I just love that feeling of being home.

Never What We Think

2010-11-18T11:58:00.000-08:00

Life. Need I say more?

The last few weeks have thrown us some serious curve balls which is leading to a reflection of my life. It is interesting to me that my individual plan of life was so simple yet has been so thwarted. The outcomes I have experienced, though unexpected, were usually significantly better than I had expected initially.

When I was 19 life seemed to be all about friends and myself. My life plan was this: go to college to find a boy, get married (drop out of college), have kids, stay home, husband will work, and life will be blissfully happy all of the time. At this time I was dating a very nice boy named Russ. He was my first love and my first heartbreak. It turns out we were not meant to be together and he went on to marry another Hollie. (Apparently he found us Holligirls irresistible.)

I went on in college and actually became somewhat dedicated. My financial situation was always precarious yet somehow things worked out despite the constant stress. The stress began to ease about the time I was turning 21. At this point a mission popped into my mind. I decided to go and serve the Lord to show him gratitude for all his help in my life. He truly has been my best friend and I could think of nothing better than giving of my time for Him.

My mission was the most amazing experience of my life. It changed me in ways nothing else could. I gained more than I gave and was truly blessed for the experience. I was able to see at this time too that God had been with me in those troubled times and led my life to where I was at that time. It was a truly faith-building experience.

Without my mission I would never have found the love of my life. I moved into an apartment with his cousin when I got home and knew he was worth having from the moment I saw him. Our marriage has been wonderful. We have the best time together and enjoy spending as much time as possible with each other. He truly makes me happy.

When I got married I thought for sure life would begin to follow my 19 year old plan. We'll not so. God often has more in mind for me than I do for myself. I graduated college. Finished my internship. Mike's got his MBA. He has been working to create a position for himself at USU. We found out this week his position is ending in December. Which has led to a tremendous amount of thought about where he wants to be and what he should be doing. Obviously it's time to move on. We just aren't sure where to go.

I thought I would be the mother of three or four by now. Unfortunately, it is not our time and God continues to let us know there are other things we need to do first. I try to be patient but I also realize I am getting older and my energy levels are dropping. I am afraid that when it is time, I won't be as fun of a mother as I would have been when I was 21. I know it will all work out because it always has before but sometimes I wonder what would have been if my plan worked out.

I know I'm better off where I am. I would be missing the type of depth of soul I have accomplished over the last decade of my life and I would not trade my husband for anything or anyone so really its nothing more than fleeting thoughts but the real truth is that I am very interested to see where my life goes in the next few years. There must be something good on the horizon because, in my experience, the hard times are always followed by bright rays of sunshine, its just a matter of things falling into place. I would love it if they would fall fast! God is good and has always helped me find the joys amidst the trials but I would sure appreciate a little overwhelming happiness or just a feeling of general content sometime soon.

Beautiful Day!!

2010-11-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

There was a beautiful day today! I got to teach today at 8:30 and when I came home I stepped out of my car and thought, today is gorgeous! It was a little chilly but THE SUN WAS SHINNING!!! Its been so long since we've had some good sunshine here in Logan and to celebrate Mike and I went on a late morning walk. It was glorious!

Hollistic

2010-11-03T09:20:00.001-07:00

I realize it's spelled wrong, but it is alternative medicine according to me so it makes perfect sense.

I went to a new sisters night for my ward last night (not because I am a new sister but because I must meet the new sisters). No one new showed up so some of the primary, and YW presidencies and the rest of the RS presidency decided to enjoy the evening by ourselves.

We really had a good time but my enjoyment was put on hold when the topic of alternative medicine came up. I can handle it for short periods of time but this went on for at least a half an hour. I tried to keep my opinions to myself, knowing that those who were heavily involved in the convo obviously did not share my thoughts.

Eventually, I could not hold back. They were discussing that the cost of supplements is far cheaper than pharmaceutics (true) and that the "natural way" is the way to be healed and receive healthcare. I broke in discussing the DSHEA laws and how they deregulated the supplement market. The FDA is no longer involved with checking supplements to ensure safety, it is the manufacturers job to determine their own product is safe and to what standards "safe" is held. USP is an independent company that checks supplement to ensure their products are truthful in their labeling. Though they are cheaper, they are not regulated.

Then in a fashion only my mom could appreciate ("and another thing!" She always said after a lecture when she had another thought occur to her), I went on to say, honestly, I have seen more damage from the holistic world than good. Thousands of dollars spent on supplements that do not cure the problem or even help the symptoms. One Dr nearly killed my sis-in-law's dad by giving him a known allergen and saying, "This pill is your antidote". He ended up in the ER with his throat closing in on him. I like to follow things that have been proven through science to work.(These are not direct quotes, just the general idea).

My final thought, "Correlation does not equal causation".

Unfortunately, this caused the three most involved to try to either back-pedal or get a little defensive.

The thing is, my address was honest but not meanly presented. I was not attacking them but simply sharing my opinion on the subject I had been forced into for a half an hour. Not to say I am a victim but I would have felt that way without sharing my thoughts.

I am open enough to see the value in certain branches of the alternate world. Chiropractics, massage, acupuncture are all helpful. Acupuncture is even in a lot of hospitals now because it has been proven helpful. It seems that many in this world feel that they are not only experts on their specialty but mine, as well as everyone else's. That bugs me nearly more that the rest of it.

Why is it when a contrary opinion is presented, people automatically get defensive? It seems especially this way when people believe in alternative medicine. Like its the only right way. If I can be adult enough to listen for a half hour, people should be willing to hear what I think for five minutes and not feel the need to stick up for what they think. I'm not attacking, I am sharing.

I am a lucky girl!

2010-10-26T18:06:00.001-07:00

I was having a conversation with a friend today about marriage. We both got married a little "older" (Ut standard) and were discussing some marriages we had witnessed since being married that made us grateful we took our time to get married. Mostly this conversation just made me happy I married Mike. Why? I'll tell you:

He likes me! Not only does the big guy love me but he enjoys my personality and we have fun together.
He is respectful (not a wife basher behind my back)
We communicate well. Did you know its actually a sign of a healthy marriage to have some conflict? Its true! Mike learned it in business psychology. We have had many disagreements but are always able to talk it out until we both feel satisfied.
He is not his biggest fan, I am (his mom could be too but I'm pretty sure I take the cake).
He would not put up with someone else Hollibashing.
He helps with meals, dishes, laundry, and general cleaning because he wants to
He likes and encourages me to be an educated woman with future goals in addition to being a mom and housewife.

In summary, he is not a selfish masochistic egomaniac wife-hater and I appreciate that very much! I am grateful that I was lucky enough to find him and that our lives were meant to be together.

Sunshine

2010-10-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

Look at the gorgeous sky and the beautiful sunshine lighting up this picture. It is lovely! It was lovely! I love the sunshine.

The last three days have been ridiculously gloomy, some gloom is great but mix with cold rain (recently turned to snow), and I am not excited about it.

I know everyone is all fall happy but to me, I want life with nearly eternal sunshine. Rainy days are a great way to add variety but the cold makes me cranky. I am not ready for it this year, please stop the cold. I know I should move somewhere warmer but life is here so what can you do. Maybe I should invest in a tanning bed and plaster it with beach pictures so I feel some warmth on my skin.

On a more chipper note, my job is going well. I love my boss and the students I work with are either fun or interesting and either one makes me smile. They have even helped me smile more since I came in cranky today.

Halloween is coming this weekend and I do love that holiday! I wish I could go trick-or-treating but people don't like it when I try to. My in-laws still give me candy though. We are having an Alfred Hitchcock movie night on Saturday so if anyone wants to come its at the Laser Precision building at 9 pm. Bring a snack to share and costumes are optional. Even just writing about it made me happier. Come friends, I would love to see you!

Lazy Days are Over (almost)

2010-10-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I've taken the summer and most of the fall to research and write my book. I have one first draft done and am waiting for a select few to send me their feedback. I could start on another one, but I figure I would rather see what people have to say about the first one before I start on a second.

I do have a job but it mostly hasn't started yet. It will be starting next Monday but its only part time. I must say though, this is the highest paying part-time job I've ever had. I enjoy working for this type of pay it is sooo satisfying. I will be working with interns of the dietetics program at USU. Usually these students are all trained at the hospital here in Logan but the hospital census is down (not surprising considering the economic climate) so half of the time they will be with me at the nutrition building.

My very smart boss has set up simulations for them to work through. They will get a couple of patients to work with and are going to get to practice educations, note writing, and problem solving. I get to be there answering any questions, teaching them what they are really going to need in a hospital setting. (Dietitians learn everything about disease states but really only get to apply the part about what it requires nutritionally, interns haven't learned that part yet).

So, starting next week, no more movies in the middle of the day or reading all day long. I might be more motivated to clean my house because I won't spend as much time doing nothing in it. I've gotten pretty good at being lazy, I forgot how after school but it came back eventually. Truly I am excited to get to work again but I will miss my lazy summer/fall. I realize it will likely be my last chance since I'm going back for my master's next year and past that, who knows what will come but I'm sure it will not support this lifestyle. Too bad. I hope I'll still get to read and watch movies anyway.

Conversations

2010-09-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

So the last few days I have been emotionally, irrationally craving some fatty goodness. It was quite specific this time indicating that I needed some sort of chocolatey donut. Concentrated fat and sugar, yum. Most of the time, I am healthy minded and content myself to a small treat once a day. Mike is also a generally healthy eater and he does not approve, and doesn't hide his disapproval, of my indulgent binges. So most of the time, I do it when he doesn't see. Last night though, he got home before I could get out the door. So the conversation went like this:

H: Hey I'm off to the store.

M: Oh your going grocery shopping?! Good, we're almost out of milk.

H: No, I'm going in quickly to grab a treat. We've got like half a gallon in there anyway.

M: Its not a half a gallon, I'll give you a third of a gallon. What kind of treat?

H: None of your business. We'll be fine on milk.

M: We can go tomorrow night I guess.

H: We've got plans tomorrow. I guess you can come if you leave me alone to find my treat and you get the boring stuff. BUT there are rules: you cannot make comments about how unhealthy it is, and if I eat two-no comments! The only thing you are allowed to say is 'That looks good'.

M: Wow, this must be an intense craving, I don't think I've ever seen you like this.

H: Yes you have, you just didn't know I was having a craving because I don't usually let you see this, you make comments about how fatty things are and sometimes I just don't want to hear it.

You'll be happy to know, he did a perfect job. I picked some chocolate covered cake donuts from Smith's. They didn't have any singles so I had to buy a dozen. They are super fatty and even have some trans-fats (a swear word in our home). They have more than enough sugar and fat to completely demolish such a craving and they were fantastic. I ate two. He looked at the label and though I know he was disgusted he didn't say one word. Not one word. I didn't even feel judged. He's so good.

Aging

2010-09-13T09:11:00.001-07:00

You know how you always think getting older never happens to you. I also remember my sisters complaining about 'changes' in their bodies because they had babies. I'm here to tell you, its not the babies, its your age! This unsettling fact has been manifesting itself to me over the past few years and I've done my best to ignore it all. (I am aware that some changes are simply due to having babies, but I'm not talking about those).

This picture is me at 19 with my dear friend Caity. We were wild and spontaneous and about to head to Colorado Springs to visit another friend for a fun summer road trip. This is the trip that helped Caity learn that I am the worst at 'would you rathers', which is quite embarrassing because she has since been hailed as one of the best at that game-she is GOOD! One good thing about me personally getting older is that I have gotten much better at styling my hair and clothes. I am grateful for that! Also, I think my face has gotten thinner, but it could be this picture. This is about the time that I noticed my feet stinking, yuck. Thank heavens for baby powder.

This picture is when Mike and I were engaged. I had been off my mission for a year which made me 23 nearly 24 at this time. I weighed less than I ever have as an adult, which I think could be the complete loss of my muscles due to being a missionary. I fit into a size six, which is an accomplishment for me. My face looked great in all of my pictures, I don't know why, but I loved that phase and I'm glad I got married then. This is also the phase of life when the hairs started showing up, you know them I'm sure, the ones on your neck or chin that do not belong there but seem to think they do. A year after this picture was taken, I learned that at 25 your nephrons (kidney cells) begin to die in preparation for your death...I was 25 or close to it and it was a little unsettling.

This is me last year. I was turning 27 the following December. My nephrons are dying but the good news is you can't tell. We had just finished hiking Crimson Trail. Later that summer, I wounded my knee on this same trail. Its beautiful, but a wicked hike. Its not even that long but you know when you can see the trail in front of your face, its steep. This year marks me getting my heaviest. I think its because I went from working on my feet 20 hrs a week to sitting on my butt for 40. Still a size eight but one pair of jeans I bought was a 12, who knows what size I really was. I began working out six days a week the following January. We do an exercise program called 'Insanity', we love it. I'm down about 10 lbs from January and my muscle tone is better than I've seen it since before my mission. It was about this time too that I noticed the dimples. YIKES. Why in the world did those have to show up. I'm still hoping that with my muscles increasing, the dimples will be decreasing. (we're down to three-five days of Insanity now, we completed the program back in Feb so now we do our own thing).

So I'm turning 28 this year and what I noticed last night was unwanted hairs on my thighs. I've always had blonde thigh hair but I guess its time for it to turn colors too. With that, I just want everyone to know that these changes are unfortunate but would have happened even if you didn't have children. Its all part of the aging process. I'm interested to see what the next ten years have in store, but it is a little scary. It does, however, help me to be grateful for what I've got now. I love my body and I love that I can see my muscles again. I've got a ways to go before I'm in peak condition but progress is progress. Happy aging to all! Good luck on your own journey!

The Book

2010-09-09T12:18:00.001-07:00

I had to write because I finished my first draft of my first book today! I'm terribly excited. Its for 10-12 year olds and the objective is to teach principles of nutrition in story format so kids are empowered to make good nutrition decisions as they grow up into adulthood. This is my version of doing something to help with the obesity epidemic plaguing our country. I hope it works!

(there is still much to do before I can get it to a publisher, but it exists!)

Have to admit its getting better

2010-08-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

We are heading out of town on Wednesday. Mike's cousin is getting married on Thursday and I didn't want to leave my depressing post as the last thing on here. The picture is completely random but it makes me smile every time I see it! My nieces are adorable!

Thankfully, things are fine now. The disposal works, Mike has enough meetings I can get do my internetting, and it seems to be calmer here.

I just have to say a little about my ward. I have never felt so at home in a ward in my adult life. Everyone is kind and welcoming. It seems that the "cultural" aspects that sometimes happen in Utah are not in this ward. People are sincere and share about their failings and triumphs. I think the best word to describe it is refreshing. There is so much diversity, and such a feeling of being grounded and easygoing. I just love it. It feels like the perfect ward for me and I am grateful we were able to move into it without even knowing. Heavenly Father knows I love a good surprise!

Deformities

2010-08-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

Well, this weekend was interesting. We went away for our anniversary Thursday through Saturday at the homestead in Midway. We had a wonderful time and even got to swim in a cave with a natural hot spring. Unfortunately, we have a history of "interruptions" to our merriment (crying X2 (done by me), last year a friend died in a car accident on our anniversary) so this year wanted to be no different. We were driving home to Logan and started noticing that when we reached about 75 mph the car would shake really bad, so bad it was like a bum massage (that part was fine). We got some lunch in Brigham City and made sure our tires were okay and took off to be back here in time to make dinner for my new friends from the Relief Society presidency in our ward (New calling, did I mention?). The shaking got worse! This time it was happening around 60 mph. We made it out of the canyon and Mike started blaming it on the people who fixed the car from the last accident, he always blames them when anything is wrong with it now, and I was countering with whatever I could think of because I did not want to take it back AGAIN. (They are in SLC and it is quite annoying to make arrangements for the car to be in the shop for an extended period of time down there. He also makes me handle everything with my car and I tend to be a little grouchy about it because my dad always took care of the mechanic interactions for me and I always feel that there are trying to take advantage of my obvious ignorance). SO the shaking escalated abruptly and I said, "We better pull over" just in time to see pieces of my car shooting off in my side mirror.

It turns out that we blew a tread on our tire and the tire had a bulge in the middle of the tread that was just getting worse but we couldn't see it. When it blew it took off a chunk of bumper, small parts of our rear light, scratched the paint, ripped off the tire well cover/mud flap, and the under the door part that runs the length of the car. We were lucky that it waited until we were almost home but the bill is going to be good sized and my insurance is up already because I got in an accident seven months ago. Sometimes I wonder what is going to be the positive result of having so much turmoil in a short period of time. I know good is coming and I am excited for it to get here.

The rest of that day followed suit. We got home and our internet (wireless) has ceased to function. We now only have one computer that functions and since Mike works from home and gets paid, he gets it. He's at a meeting though so I am savoring my internet privilege. After that we were cooking dinner and our garbage disposal stopped working. It would not drain and left this nasty water in the bottom fourth of our sink. When our guests arrived, we had to explain the sink and the obvious damage to the car. It was just ridiculous. After everyone left I plunged the sink (it was a new plunger that had NEVER been used ) because my boss at great harvest used one to unplug sinks sometimes so I thought it might do the job. It didn't work and we were supposed to go to the temple for ward temple night so we left it as it was. We missed the session and decided to come home. The sink started to work again when Mike tried it at this point so there was a good little miracle. We watched a movie and fell asleep about 8:30. It was the saddest day I've had in a long time. Its so bad that it is going to be funny in a few years.

That's all I'll say about that, it turned into more of a grip session than I meant it to. The other thing I wanted to bring up is that I have a deformity of my chest called pectus excavatum. Mine dips in enough to hold a bowl. SO I've had a couple of issues with people thinking I am pregnant when I wear certain shirts/dresses. I think the empire waist is mostly to blame but I have found that wearing tighter shirts actually pulls the fabric enough that you don't see the dip and therefore don't have a bulge in my tummy area. I was wondering if anyone has ideas on how to dress my chest to decrease the pregnancy questions and increase what I am able to wear. Any ideas are appreciated! I've been thinking that waist belts might be helpful but that is as far as my creativity has taken me. Thank you in advance for any advice. :)

Photography, etc....

2010-08-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

Ashley Mae Photography is run by one of my favorite hair people. She cuts Mike's hair and when I get around to it, she'll cut mine. I tend to go for months and months without a haircut because it takes time, gets me all hairy, and I tend to make impulsive decisions (some of which are great but others....yikes). The last time I went to get my hair cut was in March in Sandy. I didn't know this person but because it was March I was thinking about getting a little color added. I ended up with a really nice lady but she talked me into some blonde that, after it was over, was a little more zingy than I had anticipated. I've grown to be okay with it but if you notice it growing out just know that the upkeep is one of the reasons I vowed to quite dying my hair after my senior year (also because I dyed my hair orange on accident and it cost a bit to get it back to something that was not orange). I have done some highlights on rare occasion that were very natural looking so they were not so obvious as they grew out but these ones are a bit more obvious. So the tangent ends with saying, I have seen Ashley's photography and I love it so, in order to increase my chances of winning a free session with her, I am posting on her awesomeness and inviting you to take a look. It is nothing like this place which is also in Logan (I believe this place is a great source for awkward family photos.com. Be aware that the ones on the front display are the "money beets"). Ashley does a great job and I want to win!!! :)

What I've Been Up To

2010-07-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted anything specifically about my life. Mostly its because our job situation is still up in the air and I don't want to think about it too much because it bothers me. But, I will have you know that one of my professors at the University contacted me about a part-time position up there that just might work out. Part-time would honestly be perfect for me because I am also trying to research and write a book. This book will actually fit quite well as a Master's project for me since I intend to finish that starting next fall. Its all coming together!

Though I've been working on that project I've also been spending some time with some of my favorite people on the planet. I've been privileged to have all but two families of my nieces and nephews over, both of those now live out of state so it is nearly impossible to see them. We have had a marvelous time and here are some pictures to prove it.

These two are my brother Ben's girls. Marissa is the sweetest little person you will ever meet, she melts my heart!

This is Miss Chandra and she knows what she wants out of life. We went out to eat before they moved and she shoved a whole broccoli tree in her mouth, it may have been a dare I can't remember now, but it was funny!
Autumn is my sister Angie's daughter (she truly was carried and delivered by my very white sister and ended up being gorgeously dark like her daddy). We got Autumn for a whole week which is quite lucky! She is a great helper and very responsible. She is a "quiet" kid until you know her when she becomes a very imaginative and talkative child. We just think she is adorable!
So next are my brother Bryce's cuties. I got these guys for three days alone and Bryce and Heather got to sleep over and were here for two additional days adding up to a total of five days with their kiddos. They have four: Faye (6), Gabe (5), Olivia (3), and Emmitt (1). Man do they have their hands full but the good news is that their kids are great listeners (most of the time) and are so fun filled, happy, and adventurous you can't help but be sucked into loving them.

The kids fought over my extra pair of sunglasses and Olivia got to wear them while she played at the park.
Emmitt threw and sucked on rocks at Mike's parent's house on the 24th-he had a great time. I forgot how sticky babies are at his age and it really does not take long to get stickiness all over your clothes and yourself with one of these cuties. He is adorable and really interactive.
These are the ones I got to take alone for a couple days. I survived and so did they but I had to take an awesome nap after they left and I'm still getting used to having a quiet house again. I loved having them over, they are just fun!
We went to the American West Heritage Center on the 24th. It was free (usually its $6-$8 per person) which is awesome because its a live history museum that focuses on pioneers, cowboys and indians, miners, trappers, farm life, etc... Think of it as a bigger and cooler wheeler farm and that should be about right. They even have yummy old fashioned candy!!! You know I loved that!
This is my friend Kiyia. She is the daughter of Brenton and Maren who were our managers and are our good friends. Miss Kiyia is my little buddy and I feed her cake balls when she comes to see me. We have a great time together!
I know you are likely to be tired of reading about the children I love but I'm nearly done! My sister Heather had a baby recently (not pictured in this post) and my oldest sister Wendy moved to Texas just in time to miss his birth so, her darling husband flew Heather out to visit his sad wifey. I was lucky because that meant I got her kids for a week and two days! We had a blast although all of us (especially the kids) were ready for Heather to come home. Ammon would say to me, " I've had a good time but I'm ready for my mom to be back!" Elsa would just have break downs occasionally (mostly when she was getting in trouble) saying, "I want my mommy, I want my house!" It was fun and these guys helped me get some awesome stories!

Elsa is six and she is cute as a button until she decides she wants to be devious. She has got this little wicked side that you would never expect! She was great for me, luckily, but her most recent trouble making was when she etched a big W into her mom's new car's paint.

This picture is one she was SOOOO excited about. We had talked about Old Ephraim the last grizzly bear from Cache Valley (also the hugest one, he was 11 ft tall!!). Her daddy had seen the skull and the grave and she REALLLY wanted to too so we found where it was being held (which is the special collection in the Merrill-Cazier Library) and went to visit his skull. The grave is quite a hike so we'll save that for another time.

Ammon found a zoology book that was printed in the 1840s, I think, we looked but I forgot. This book was awesome! All of the illustrations were hand sketched which we just don't think about anymore because we've had cameras all our lives so why would you sketch in a book? Anyway, the book was so old that you have to ask the librarian to help you and she gets out these foam book holders to protect the binding and you get to wear gloves to handle the pages. Ammon was overjoyed! He felt like he was in the Davinci Code or something!
So quick version of the good stories of Elsa and Ammon. One day we were driving down the road and Ammon noticed a baby blue BMX bike and was oggling at it. Elsa replied, "That's a kiddie pool bike!"

Next was a hike that we took these guys on. We intended to do about a four mile hike and ended up going closer to six. My knee survived but four miles is generally when it poops out. So we were trying a new hike and thought we were on a four mile loop. After three miles (we were on some pasture land for the last mile or so and were surrounded by cattle), we lost the trail and could not see any clear signs that we were near the parking lot. Elsa was already losing it and then she needed to go pee but didn't want to outside. Mike was off trying to find the trail and we had planned to eat dinner on the hike so the rest of us were pulling out food (We had Mike's cousin and his wife too). I keep trying to work with Elsa about peeing and get her to eat something because she decided that the sandwich I brought for her is now undesirable. We wander away from the group on another side of a hill and I tried to get her in a good position but as soon as her pants were down she was peeing and I had no time to fix her so she peed all over her bottoms and me as I was attempting to help something stay dry. Then she began screaming and crying and yelling about how she wanted to go home. I was losing it myself because I did not want to go on a longer hike to start with, I didn't have my brace and even with my brace the knee is just not great, and now Elsa was losing it and we both have pee all over us so I had a momentary freak out and threw Elsa's outer layer on the ground (she had a skirt and shorts underneath to start with). Then Elsa was all grumpy and cold and walking super slow. She didn't want Mike to carry her because he was sweaty. Finally, with the power of oreos, Mike bribed her with five cookies if he could carry her all the way back. Thank heavens it worked because that hike was already bad and it would have just gotten worse. Its funnyish now but still gets my stress level up because it was SOOOO bad! I know its funny but it will be more funny the farther away I get. I am grateful for camel packs so I had enough water to clean myself up and for the washer and dryer we recently got so we didn't have stinky pee clothes hanging around our apartment.

SO that's been our summer so far. Mostly kids and having a great time. I have the best tan I've had in seven years. I can see color on my legs and I am so excited about it. There is more to come, mostly weddings now so we've got lots to look forward to. We've also got our 4 year anniversary on August 12. We're so cute! I'm just glad that we are happily married and pray it only gets better from here!

For Your Viewing Pleasure!

2010-07-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

A little background on this is that the poem was written by grandma for our wedding and given as part of our wedding gift. The truth of the matter is that we have laughed about this poem our entire marriage, Mike even made me a parody for an anniversary ( it included Bobba Fett- it was beautiful) so when she asked us to read it at her wedding...we didn't respond and hoped it would go away but, it didn't. Without further ado, please laugh at our expense!!

Catching up!

2010-05-16T17:09:00.000-07:00

We have a new nephew!!!!! His name is Anders Reed Uffe Traeden. It is a mouth-full that's for sure!
He was born on Friday May 14, 2010. He was 9 lbs and 7 oz which is considerably bigger than either of his siblings. He has a barrel chest just like his daddy and he is adorable!
This is Anders with his momma who is so happy! She had an unmedicated birth and is doing fabulous. I may be going to help them in a few days as long as I am still unemployed.

In other news, I had a job interview for a position at Edith Bowen (a school run by USU). It was for a food service manager. I was trying to be excited about it but even during the interview, they gave me an assessment outside of the committee, while I was sitting by myself I was filled with dread and really wanted to walk out and hand it into the people without finishing. I didn't but I felt like it. The job sounded like one of the worst in my imagination but it was a job with benefits so I continued through hoping they wouldn't give it to me, even though it was the only RD job available in Logan.

When I got home after the interview the dread was still there. I opened my e-mail and my friend Chelsi informed me of another RD job that had just opened. It was at WIC, which was my favorite rotation in my internship. I suddenly felt much better and ran to apply that day. I have another friend that used to work at the WIC in Logan so she is working on helping me get it too. Right now it is a temporary part-time position but it could progress into a permanent full-time position soon. The boss is out of town until tomorrow so hopefully I should be hearing about an interview this week so let's hope all goes well.

I did not get the other job, they called me the next day and told me the news which makes me think they had a second in command that had the job already but needed the formal process. I was really happy honestly!

We'll see what happens in the next few days. Its a crazy time for us because Mike has a student job still but has to raise money to make it into a real job and I am unemployed, so things are up in the air and there is a possibility that we might move again in July if we don't get any progress in the job arena. Hopefully the uncertainty is going to be settled soon.

Nie Nie

2010-05-05T13:37:00.000-07:00

This woman is such an inspiration to me! I found her blog through a story about her moving to the U of U hospital's burn unit on KSL about a year ago. She is an amazing person and if you have yet to see her, check out this video that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints posted on youtube. She is amazing!

Dear Comcast Installer Man

2010-04-21T14:14:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for making the internet a part of our lives again. I really appreciate it! I am also grateful that you came early today, however, I wish I had not been naked in my bathroom. See I planned my day around you coming between 2-5 so I thought working out from 11-12:30 should be fine so when you showed up at 1, I had just stepped out of the shower to hear your knock. I am very lucky that my husband was home to answer the door but I was less lucky that the spare room where the computer will be is next to the bathroom. Thank you for stepping outside to flip some switches so Mike could hand me some clothes. I am also glad you did not see me naked or toweled today. I hope the rest of your day was great and thank you again for the internet!

Holli

Top Ten

2010-04-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

In honor of us moving into our luxurious 70s town-home tomorrow I give you the top ten things I am overjoyed about this particular apartment:

10. This place has two bedrooms
9. An upstairs and a downstairs
8. Parking spaces close to the door
7. Ground level entry!!!!
6. Dumpster near our front door for easy access
5. Dumpster near our front door so no one will think our place is worth breaking into
4. Garbage disposal
3. Full sized cupboards and extra storage space
2. DISHWASHER
1. Our very own SPACE!!!!!

Honestly, most people think that many of these things are must-haves but we lived without for three years so SERIOUSLY they are great!
I may be out of the internet loop for awhile, just until we get it hooked up, but I am thinking of you all and can't wait to see what you are up to while I'm gone!!!

Finished!!!!!!

2010-03-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

I got the e-mail from my director today telling me that she got my homework packet on Friday so I have done all I can do from my side!!!! They are going to "graduate" me next week so I think that means I will get a certificate (yay) saying that I did my internship. At this point I have a perfect 4.0 for my graduate work (they do not judge assignments harshly, they said it is rare if they give anything lower than a B, but I'll take it) which will be nice for when I do the last 15 credits and have a better chance of a worse grade. So I am finished!!! I plan to take a year off to decrease my burn-out and increase my interaction with the outside world (that includes you people that read this). I look forward to having friendships and girl time and good chats with my friends. I am grateful that these experiences have brought Mike and I even closer and that our relationship has actually benefited from the intense times we have had through school. He is a great man.

Just another note about Mike so you all know how amazing he is. Ever since we moved into my dad's house Mike has done the laundry and some general cleaning as well as cooking. More recently, when the internship was my whole life, he took care of everything. He changed the sheets, hung up my clothes, made sure I had work pants on Mondays, made breakfasts and dinners, and was always very supportive of my need to stay focused. He is wonderful and I feel blessed to have a man who can support me as well as keep the house running. I am excited to move in with him again! :)

We are looking at moving the second weekend in March but we still need an apartment so that date is debatable. Hopefully we will find something soon, I'm checking the classifieds this week! That is about the extent of life at the moment so I might be better at posting for a bit, who knows!!!

Fondly....

2010-02-26T13:41:00.000-08:00

thinking of what is coming!!!!

Update

2010-01-12T17:25:00.000-08:00

Wow! I cannot tell you how much has happened since November. Let me enlighten you all:

I got to be a mascot (picture above) for the first time in my life! It was pretty fun, kids were excited, I had them laughing, hugging, hitting, and just loving me. This mascot is called Liftoff and is meant to promote healthy lifestyle choices for elementary kids. He is a giant five-six point star which means I was wide enough to need to turn sideways through doorways, I didn't know that until I knocked myself over trying to go through straight.
I finished my foodservice rotation with Granite (I LOOOOVE THEM), and started my WIC rotation at the South Main Clinic.
During that month long rotation: I caught strep throat and had to call in sick Friday of my first week, wrecked my car (my fault) the following Tuesday (3 days after my b-day so my license was not renewed of course), and got a bladder infection in week three. Nothing like peeing blood. Because of the way my internship is set up, I could not take any more days off because I would have been short on hours. I did my best to keep it together but it was a rough rotation.
WIC was actually wonderful, I loved the feeling of being the expert and having interaction with patients to teach them based on their circumstances. I just loved that rotation. The people were so nice and I just loved it.
Thankfully, I was able to go on vacation alone with my husband on Dec. 26. We went to Bear Lake and snowshoed, walked, watched tv and movies, played Wii, and just enjoyed ourselves. It was so nice to have the ability to be alone together. This is rare since we are homeless and live with our parents and see each other on the weekends. It was SOOOOOOO wonderful and I am excited to get back to living every day with my husband.
I started my clinical rotation. I am currently at Alta View but will be going to LDS and IMC in the near future. I am so excited that this is my last rotation and I will be finished in March (I may get to grow up finally.....maybe).

All in all, it has been a great time. I am ready to be done, but I am almost there so only a little left!!!!! I almost have credentials, it is amazing! Mike and I are excited to live in the same location and hopefully get jobs. Life is busy but good.

What's with today today?

2009-10-26T19:21:00.000-07:00

This picture sums up exactly what I felt this morning. We own an ingenious alarm clock that knows what day it is and when to change for daylight savings, at least when you don't unplug it for a day, or when daylight savings time changes a week later than the year the clock was manufactured...so usually it goes awry on Sunday but since we had it unplugged for a day when we moved....it changed today.

My morning routine consists of waking up at 6:50 AM, getting ready, and making it to work by 8 AM. I have never been late (for once in my life, don't tell them though!). So I woke up this morning and heard my dad get into the bathroom, which was weird since he never gets up when I do but my clock said 7:00 so....it was him that was the problem right? My dad knocked on my door and asked if I was up, again weird. I went to the bathroom and realized the alarm clock was at it again and it was 8:10 AM. BAAAA!!!

I got to work and was feeling bad about being late, so I skipped the meeting I was supposed to be in because I was consumed in my guilt. I then got busy doing a project and neglected to attend an appointment I had with a manager in another department. Argh! I was off today and I hate that!

Thankfully things got better and I have had a wonderful evening prepping my dad's house for Halloween, we are having the fam over Halloween day so I'm working on getting it ready. PARTY!!! I love a good party! I love Halloween too! Happy Halloween guys!!!

A Marriage Thought

2009-10-05T15:00:00.000-07:00

Is it just me? I find when I have an issue, that I know I need to bring up for discussion and I know might make him feel bad, that I'm always the one crying about it? In my opinion, it happens because I feel really bad about the possibility of making him feel bad.

It is just interesting how you hurt so much for the potential of hurting your spouse and I'm sure its bad with kids too. Any thoughts?

The Jeffer's Wedding

2009-09-06T14:34:00.001-07:00

This is my Jeffey. He's my little brother and, I'll tell you, I'm rather protective of him. He got married this weekend and it was a blissful occasion because the girl he married is wonderful! They are a beautiful couple and a fabulous pair.

They got married at the Salt Lake Temple and were so happy to finally be married, it was very cute to see! Caitie was once engaged to a different guy and broke things off right before they got married because she did not feel it was right. When she married Jeff she cried and laughed all at the same time because it felt so right to her and she was happy to know the difference.

I love her shoes!!!

They are so happy and I am happy for them!!!

In other news....

Second week down, it was exciting! I got to be a lunch lady for the first time in my life and we served sloppy joes!!!! It made my day! I got to enter production records into the computer AND I got to help out the district by doing a taste test of low-fat ranches. The one they currently serve is disgusting and they want to change to a better quality brand but need documentation that the current one is iffy, so I had an assignment to do a taste panel for my internship and got to kill two birds with one stone! I was just happy to have a purpose behind the assignment.

Life is beautiful and I'm loving having a four day weekend with my hunny! I feel so blessed to have him in my life, I am so lucky to be married to a man of his caliber. I know what's out there and I know I made the best choice for me by marrying Mike. I hope Jeff and Caitie get to be so happy in their marriage as well. A lot of the marriages I have been close to have been full of difficulties and hurt. Its hard to see those and not feel cynical about marriage. I honestly cried every night Mike and I were engaged because of what I have seen and the fear of what could be. I do not want a marriage like those. I am lucky that my Grandpa and Grandma have had a very sweet marriage during their long lives and if they can do it, there must be hope for the rest of us! Cheers to good, happy, loving, and supportive marriages!!!

Food Service Rotation (aka the internship has begun!)

2009-08-27T20:14:00.000-07:00

I remember this (and I love my niece trying to capture my flower, she was enamored by that carnation :) ) , that one time I graduated from college and thought, "I am almost done". The almost comes because when you go to school to become a dietitian they require an internship. Two programs exist fulfill this requirement, one (coordinated) does it with the "four" years it should take to get your undergraduate degree, the second (didactic) requires that you apply for an internship that starts after you graduate. I was a didactic student.

Luckily for me, I got into an internship that has an emphasis in my interest in the field- child nutrition. Also it offers graduate credit and I want to get that MDA!

So I started on Monday with the food service rotation (there will be three different rotations when its over). The first day of anything I never sleep well. I love sleeping, but when big things are happening, I fear the alarm will not arouse me and wake-up about every hour from 3 am until I need to get up. This time I even said out loud (Mike was with me that night), " Was that the alarm?????" I sounded alarmed and totally woke him up, he said no. Oops! (I should also mention that my eyesight is TERRIBLE and I cannot see the clock from the other side of the bed, even when squinting hard.) So after a restful night I went off to meet my preceptor (supervisor for all intents and purposes, but just a weirder way of saying it). His name is Alan and he is super nice. I have about 38 assignments that I need to complete for the graduate credit I am receiving and he had kindly worked out a calender for me to complete them all. He had contacted all of the people for me and everything. I was relieved and very grateful!

So the overview of this week at the internship is: Office jobs are boring but I like it when we get to do school visits, and odd things not involving an office. The people in the office are super nice and I am loving them. I would like to think they are seeing my potential and enjoy my company but we'll see...

Life is good. I miss my Mike, but other than that life is good.

Moved in, organized, and prepping for the internship

2009-08-07T10:43:00.000-07:00

I think the title sums up our lives at the moment. We are in my dad's (Mike is half in here and half at his parent's house). I've listened to one online lecture to prepare for my food service rotation that begins on August 24. Between now and then we've got plenty going on.

We are celebrating three years of marriage beginning Monday and I am so excited. We are working on plans still but that is because I generally plan things for us to do but Mike put a money cap on me this year (not like I spent much anyway) but with the cap I haven't felt as motivated and I feel like he can plan it if he wants to spent the amount he planned (don't you love working things out!). We've got a basic plan but we'll see what happens. It ought to surprise us all since none of us know what we're doing. I'm luck to have such a wonderful husband, he truly is a great man and getting better all the time!

We've got my dad's b-day on August 15. He is old old old! :) Just kidding. He's 66 this year though which is pretty weird. Mike enjoys teasing him every chance he gets about his age and infirmities, its pretty funny. We've been teasing my dad about being old since he was in his 40s so he's used to it by now.

I can't remember what else we've got but I've got to get going. Jeff needs help moving some table to his new apartment and we've been asked to participate! Good times!!!

Moving Day

2009-07-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

Apartment pics: These two are of the living room/den/kitchen/dining room/rec room/etc....
I only had the one room so I'll have to get the bedroom next time, but now you can know what it looks like (three years of this size, keep in mind :))

Well, the time has come we, finally, have picked the day! We are moving to my Dad's house on August 1! We are excited to get a move onto the next phase of life, even though we'll be living apart for most of the week :(. We have loved our cluttery little apartment (one bedroom in case you didn't know) but are looking forward to having some more space and then moving into our own space in a few months.
My internship is 7 months and with Mike up here, and potentially finding job opportunities here for the next few years, chances are 7 months are all I'll get for awhile. I'm happy that I get to be around my family and some of my dearest and oldest friends. I'm grateful for this time to be with them all so I can enjoy them before I have to commit to living in Cache Valley for the rest of my existence. (If I get a job once my internship is done we'll live in Ogden area somewhere but I'm just planning on Cache Valley so I can be mentally prepared if we do end up here forever).
On Cache Valley, I do love it but I also love change and I've been here for three years straight doing the exact same things and I need some change!!!!! I would also like to be a bit closer to my family and friends so I can see them more and if we do reside in Logan forever after, I may never see anyone again. (a bit dramatic, I know, but sometimes it really feels that way). I do have to say I am very grateful for the friendships I have made up here, they have made school and every day fun and I appreciate it very much. Overall, life is good and I'm excited to be progressing on in my life and education!!!

Update

2009-06-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

So I've been waiting to get pictures of my new car, but I still haven't. Since it has been awhile I thought I would do a little update. This is what has happened since the last post: I have been working, Mike has been working, I had orientation week (the first week of June).

During orientation week to my internship we got to spruce up my dad's house for a visitor. We painted the upstairs bathroom and decorated that room and a bedroom so they would be comfortable for my sister's, Wendy, Texas boyfriend named Jeff. Each afternoon after that was spent cleaning the house, I don't think its had a deep cleaning since Jeff went on his mission. (I'm glad that things looked so much better for my Dad, it was nice to get to clean his house up and make it pretty for him).

That was a big week for our family, not only did Wendy bring in her Texas Jeff, but our own Jeff got engaged!!! The girl is named Caitlin (We are so lucky to get a Caitlin in our family, not everyone gets their own!). They met last August and had a rocky first few months of a relationship but in February things calmed down and they got engaged the first weekend in June. The wedding is September 4 (Happy birthday Jenn!!!) .

We've had some big stuff happen and it has been a great time. I loved spending so much time with my dad that week, I felt spoiled just being near him for a whole week. I missed Mike but we will be living like that come August so we'll just have to get used to it. Anyway, that's about it for me. I hope everyone is well, I know everyone's had stuff going on too, some have been sick, others moving, some running crazy races. I'm lucky to have such great friends and I hope everyone is happy and loving life!

Goodbye Gertie!

2009-05-18T20:16:00.001-07:00

We are selling my dear Miss Gertie. I bought her in January 2002. I was 19 and she is the first car I have paid for myself (well, my dad finished it off while I was on my mission but there was only $600 left by then). She has lots of quirks, to name a few:

Dropping glove compartment, always surprises new passengers!
Passenger speaker cuts out in the winter months due to the cold.
When she's low on gas she it takes a few clicks for her to get started.
There is a hole under the mat on the driver's side.
I guess she was owned by a gangster before me because she is a low-riding, rim wearing Honda Civic Coupe. I don't know who did it to her but it was always funny to me.

She has been the best car for me and I am grateful to have had her service throughout the years. Mike kissed me for the first time in that car, she is special! Unfortunately, with all the commuting Mike and I will be doing between Sandy and Logan next year, she would not be up to the task. :(
We have purchased a new car but I don't have pictures yet so this one is just about saying goodbye to my Gertie girl. Goodbye good friend and thanks for all!

Confessions of not so much of a runner

2009-05-07T09:26:00.001-07:00

Background
By middle and high school the only running I ever did was in gym and it was the bane of my existence. As I have gotten older I have tried, usually unsuccessfully, to become a runner. About two years ago, due to a life that is conducive to being indoors for 98% of my day, I got sick of being indoors and decided that I would workout outside. I began "running". Really, I walked most of the way. I have been running since then (when the weather is fitting). I find it fun now because I actually listen to my body when it says, "I don't want to run for a minute". I also go by myself so I don't feel pressure to keep up with someone. SO I am down to a 10 minute mile time (If I am trying to) and I actually run most of the way now. :) I enjoy being outside and having the sunshine on my arms, face, and legs.
Picture (above)
I have had the opportunity to volunteer at several races in Cache Valley. I've done a few 5ks and one 1/2 marathon. The thing I love best about volunteering is that you get the shirt without having to run the race! :)
With these shirts, I enjoy wearing them when I go running so everyone thinks I am an amazing runner, when really I only go a little over two miles when I run. Its my little joke to myself that keeps me entertained as I go.
I recently had a friend invite me to run in a 5k and I freaked out! Like I said, I only run by myself and that is for a reason. I also only run two mileish and I know 5ks are not that much more but still, I am not going to race anybody! Running for me is a chance to enjoy being outside in the beauty of the Earth, and to get exercise, and to wear my awesome shirts so people think I'm hard-core!

Grageation

2009-05-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

I got to graduate on Saturday! I was not going to walk but after I realized that it would be the last time I saw some of my girlfriends from school ( there are only 23 of us in our program and we are good friends), I decided I should. I am glad that I did because it made the fact that I am done seem more real. Otherwise, it would have been just like any other day. So for a recap.....

Some of the fam came up and we went to Costa Vida for lunch. The original plan was a picnic at the park but with the dumping rain, we decided to stay at Costa....

I love Ben (the guy on the left) and Heather (across from Ben). Their faces are awesome!!!

After Costa I got to line up outside the Kent Concert Hall (apparently Donny Osmond will be performing here sometime this summer, just so you know).

This is the Dean handing me my diploma cover. You would think they could just have it all ready but I guess they have to make sure you passed all of your classes.

These are some of my teachers. We are so lucky in our major to become very close to our professors, they are just adorable and I'll miss them.

After the ceremony they served us all ice-cream (Aggie ice cream, of course) and cake. We found this empty room and went to town. When we were leaving all the little girls pulled to bouquets apart and took the pretty flowers home. :)

It was a wonderful day and I'm happy everyone could make it. I feel truly blessed to have one degree under my belt and to have such supportive friends and family. I am one lucky girl!!!

Why 5:30 AM?

2009-04-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

Why is it that some people have no concept of other people? We have a dude in the parking lot behind our complex that insists on warming up his very loud motorcycle every morning for five-ten minutes at 5:30 A.M.! It has been happening for the past few weeks. I don't know if it was happening before because we have only recently been leaving the windows open at night. It may get better when the air conditioning comes on. I just don't understand how someone could turn that loud thing on every morning without thinking of the three hundred people within a hundred foot radius of the bike. Seriously!
This is what I want to do!Crappy picture, but you get the point! :)

Wendy's Party/Spring Break

2009-04-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

This is the much anticipated post (I'm sure!). I brought it up awhile ago but I rarely post from my home computer. Two big events took place in March: Spring Break, which was at Arch's National Park in Moab, and Wendy's surprise 40th birthday.
Wendy is my oldest sister and she has been the most amazing example. If you know what my family dynamics are, I know you will appreciate Wendy. Wendy had the drive to get an not only and undergrad but an MBA. She did this without parental support or example. She has always been an amazing forerunner for our family and we wanted her 40th to be something she could remember with a smile. We planned it for 2 1/2 years! It started off being a "sisters" dinner, or that's what she thought....

We went in and asked for the party of 30.....Wendy was shocked!....
Did I mention it the theme was 1969?
After the dinner we told Wendy we were headed to an "art show" at Heather's charter school....
What was really happening, is that we had set the gym up all day....
400 balloons...
This was her face when she saw the room filled with people.... (I neglected to take pictures of that)
The caterer had this gorgeous set up with three amazing happy birthday cakes!
No party would be complete without my dad in attendance, don't you love that vest!

This is me and my beautiful sisters at the end of a very long very fun day!
Happy Birthday Wendy!!!!

Without further ado Spring Break:

We got to crawl through an arch! Mike is going in...
...and I am coming out.
These are our friends the Heaps. They were our companions for mischief in Moab.
This was our favorite friend Spandex Man! We were lucky enough to see him everywhere and he even followed us onto the guided tour we took. We thought he looked so good we could not miss out on getting a pinchy-pinchy picture.
This is the delicate arch (it's on license plates if you are having trouble placing it). It was beautiful up close! We happened to go on a SUPER windy evening and were getting blown all over, but we got a few pictures and that is what matters! (note my hair, it was WINDY)
This is me holding up that big ol' rock! Impressive, I know!

Spring break was awesome! We had a good time and the Heaps introduced us to a new car game, you bring an ipod, or mp3 player, someone picks a song and another person has to turn it up LOUD, so they can't hear what is happening outside, closes their eyes, and rocks out! Obviously this game is not meant for everyone but, if you have an outgoing group, it is pretty funny! Mike sang all the wrong words to "Everything She Does is Magic" by Sting (He said, "Everything she touches turns me on..." Funny!) and that alone made the game hilarous!

Sextuplets????

2009-04-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the strangest dream...It truly was bizarre! I was married to a boy from high school that I did not even know, I know of him and talked to him once, I'm sure, but still! Not only were we married but I was nine months pregnant with sextuplets. It was amazing how my stomach looked like I was five months pregnant with just one baby at nine months with six of them. I cannot explain that mystery. I spent some time in my dream discussing the care of multiples with my dear friend Delsie, who actually has triplets in real life so I guess my subconscious is one for three at least.
So I went into labor and they were all still-born. Somehow, it was not disturbing that none of them made it, which is odd seeing as most women would want to die in that situation, but not my dream self. I woke up shortly thereafter.

Interpretation:
Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it.� This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.
Birth
To dream of giving birth or see someone else giving birth, suggests that you are giving birth to a new idea or project. It also represents new beginnings or some upcoming event. A more direct interpretation of this dream, may represent your desires/ anxieties of giving birth or the anticipation for such an event to occur. while multiple births are omens of forthcoming material wealth. (http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Meaning_of_Dreams_about_Birth/id/241765)
Acquaintance
To see an acquaintance in your dream, signifies positive affairs in business and harmony in your home life. It also foretells that you will see or hear from them shortly after this dream.
Stillborn
To dream of a stillborn infant, denotes that some distressing incident will come before your notice. (http://dream.dictionary-dream.info/stillborn.html)
Most of these interpretations were taken from www.dreammoods.com

So my interpretation based on these interpretations is that I can expect a call from a couple people in the next little while and that my life is in harmony. I also have something distressing that I'll be dealing with soon, which will likely cause growth and development, but I'll be having an increase in wealth due to my new ideas or an upcoming event. I enjoy seeing what the internet has to tell me about my dreams! It is not real, obviously, but for some reason I think its fun to do. I hope you all enjoyed my dream! :)

Thinking of Graduation

2009-03-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

I picked up my cap and gown last week, it was an amazing feeling! I have been meaning to post spring break and Wendy's surprise 40th party but since I keep forgetting when I am at my home computer, you'll all just have to wait. For now I'll just think about four more weeks of classes until I get to take that walk across the stage for my diploma. It feels like I've been here forever but it also feels like its over so soon. I am more than ready to be done. Everyday I wake-up and think I don't want to do it anymore! It will be over soon and then I will have a few months to enjoy doing less than normal before my internship.
I did my senior thesis and thesis presentation last week. It was scary but it went well and I felt great about my research. My topic was "When is it normal growth and when is it obesity?" I thought it was interesting and since my focus right now is child nutrition, it was very appropriate. The paper was ten pages (not including the reference page, which included twelve references, nine peer reviewed journal articles) and a 15 minute presentation with a Q&A session at the end. It was pretty intense. I am glad it is over now so I can focus on my last few tests and assignments. IT IS ALMOST OVER!!!!!!! YAY for graduation!!!!

I think I'm getting sucked in...

2009-02-18T10:11:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd like blogging, but truth be told, I am enjoying it! I love looking at everyone else's lives and enjoy their moments with them. It makes me want to catch mine up much more often.
In other news, my arms are killing me because we got some of the shots we need for traveling to Africa. OUCH! I finished my Hepatitis B series, got a tetnus, meningitis, and pills to prevent typhoid. We still have a few other things to get. We have to get malaria treatments, potentially some polio and yellow fever shots. I just found out how scared Mike is of needles. I guess it has just never come up before and considering that he NEVER gets scared and I ALWAYS get scared, it was funny to see him have a moment. Who knew a big man could be scared of a little poke?
The last random thing I wanted to say today: EXORTIC. Anyone ever heard that word? I hadn't until we went to an Indian restaurant in Sandy with an offering of exortic items on their menu. I'm guessing it was a misprint but it makes me laugh and I like to try to fit it in converstations occasionally just to see what people say. Try it out, it is entertaining! Have an exortic day!!!!

Uganda

2009-02-17T10:35:00.000-08:00

So Mike and I are looking at going to Uganda for a program called Engineers Without Borders. Even though its done by engineers, they are diversifying their efforts and need people who meet their needs. Therefore, they need people with nutrition information and people with business information. That's where we come in! So we are looking at the first part of June to the first part of July and if anyone knows people who are looking for donation opportunities, let me know! It would also be a tax break for anyone donating. Also, if anyone wants to go, it is not restricted to students....so get on the ship (or airplane)!!!! We'd love to have you! YAY for Uganda!!!!
Things to know:

There are tons of projects that are really diverse that need people to help.
We'll take a layover in Dubai or Rome.
The head waters of the Nile are in Uganda. There are class 5 rapids and we can go on a rafting adventure!
It is tropical there so we also get to do a safari!
We do have to get shots and a passport.

Happy Birthday Caity!!!!

2009-02-12T20:28:00.001-08:00

Happy birthday to my dear friend Caity-lou-who. As a tribute to her I would like to list the top ten reasons that Caity is a wonderful friend:

Caity has kept in contact with me through the eight years that we have been out of high school for most of which I have been in Logan which is an hour and half away from her.
She was my most faithful non-family writer on my mission and sent more packages than my family, I'm pretty sure.
We've had some really intense moments but she cares enough to communicate and work things out.
She finds the most thoughtful gifts. I really think that she shops throughout the year looking for things that will matter to those she loves.
She is fabulously fun! We always have a great time together!
I can brush my teeth while we are on the phone and she doesn't mind.
She is awesome at playing would you rather. She laughs at my mediocre skills because she doesn't know how someone can't come up with good ones. :)
She is always willing to adjust her schedule to play with me, whether its at her place or coming to Logan, she is willing to make it work.
She loves to travel, which is great for road trips! We've had some good times!
She reinacts my dumbest moment ever, to her, everytime she visits Vegas. You know the one! :)

Happy Birthday Caity! You are an amazing person and friend and I hope that this birthday is the best birthday EVER!!!! I love you my dear!

You never know....

2009-02-07T23:17:00.000-08:00

So we went to the dollar store to get some stuff to decorate Mike's cousin's apartment for his birthday (we like to break in and leave him random stuff for his birthday). I was looking for skittles on the candy isle when I came across this candy. "Long Boys Juniors". Some of you may not get why this is surprising and I will leave it for someone else to explain but I must say it made my day to find such an oddly named candy. In case some of you don't believe that this is a real candy I have taken a picture directly from the Atkinson candy (AKA the maker of the chico-stick) website. You may also follow the link in the candy name to the website directly.

Happy Birthday Mike!!!!

2009-01-28T10:15:00.001-08:00

For Mike's birthday I will do a tribute to my sweet husband! He is literally the best husband ever! Here is a list of why he is so amazing:

He is fantastically attractive! I could look at him all day and still think he is the most incredibly handsome man I have ever seen.
He takes great care of me! He always makes sure my feet spot on the bed is warm when we go to bed at night, he cuddles me when I'm sad, he buys me flowers to make my day, he helps keep the house clean, I could go on...but it the list is long!
He is always looking to improve himself! He is always doing his best to eat healthy and exercise. He works hard to be good in school.
He is innovative and ambitious! He is always looking for a way to be outside the box and ahead of the crowd but he makes sure to take his friends with him.
He is adventurous! He loves to be outside and find new and exciting activities to pass our time. He is also not afraid to fail in any aspect of life, which makes his ability to triumph excel.
He is kind to others! He is always looking out for other people to help them become better and helps them when he can.
He talks and listens! We have great communication and that is something I prize in our marriage.
He is willing to change! If something bothers me, he works on it! It is so nice!
He is wonderful and I love him more than anything on this Earth!

Happy birthday to the best husband in the world!

And the verdict is..........

2009-01-15T20:29:00.001-08:00

SURE THING!!!! I got the Salt Lake City internship!!!!!! I was so stoked this morning I can hardly tell you! We have been celebrating all day! It starts in August which means we'll be moving down sometime this summer, TBD. YAY for internships!!!!!

It has been awhile!

2009-01-14T09:52:00.001-08:00

I thought I'd do a little catch-up for anyone who reads my blog (thanks Caity! :) ). I had a great Christmas break. It was a wonderful time to work like crazy at Great Harvest, which caused me to get some nice moolah, have a merry Christmas with family and friends, enjoy a great New Year's Eve with some more friends in Bear Lake, and have my interview for my internship. The break was restful, I took a nap everyday. This helped me to not be SO sick of school when I came back and so I was actually excited to get going and get things done.
Since school started I have really been doing the same-old, same-old. Work, school, play, nothing new. I do find out about my internship tomorrow and I am trying my best to not be nervous or anxious. I decided to dress HOT today to cover my feelings so we'll see if I can fool everyone into thinking I'm calm and collected. :) I will update soon to let the results be known!

AHHHH!!!!

2008-12-11T15:52:00.000-08:00

I repeat AHHHH! There are many reasons for yelling, and yelling happily. First, I just finished finals today!!! YAY! Second, the office is tonight, and you know I love the office. Third, I just mailed in my internship application packet. This is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. I have taken pictures to show you all the hard work I have put into this thing in the last four months.

The application included:

The application-six pages of grades, work experience related to dietetics, etc...

The application letter-I got to tell them my motivation in dietetics and what I'll be doing with myself in the future with dietetics.

My GRE scores-Heaven save you all from taking that stinky thing. Its like the ACT for college except it is for gratuate school, for those who have yet to experience it.

A signed form of intent to complete my major-Graduation May 2! Another reason to rejoice!

3 letters of recommendation from some of my teachers who are the best teachers ever, I promise!

A copy of my transcripts

A $50.00 check, nothing's free.

Now some of you may not know why this is a big deal, let me explain. This internship is necessary for me to use my degree. In order to become a registered dietetician I have to do an internship prior to taking the registration exam. I am applying to the USU internship that allows USU students to apply a few months early for a few special spots. This year there are 6 Utah spots. There are 9 girls applying. So obviously some will not get what they want. If I do not get this internship, I will apply a second time in March for various internships around the country, mostly in Texas. So I really would like to get this one because I don't want to move to Texas unless I absolutely have to. Anyway, I do feel that I have a good chance at the USU one because they emphasis in child nutrition which is my focus too.
It has been a long crazy ride to get where I am today and I know that wherever my internship ends up, it will be where I am meant to be.
After a long day, with so many accomplishments, I am going to eat a piece of my birthday cake! It is a coldstone ice cream cake, for those of you who have yet to experience this delight, I tell you it is fabulous! YUM!

Rosie Dear

2008-12-01T13:21:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite friends is looking for a baby to adopt. If anyone knows of anyone who is putting their child up for adoption please let them know about Rosie and her honey Isaiah. Here is the link to their profile: http://www.providentliving.org/ses/birthmother/viewsingleprofile/0,12272,2133-1-10506-1-1,00.html

The last month

2008-11-26T10:53:00.000-08:00

It is crazy how life can just bombard you with stuff. This last month has been nutty. My grandpa, who was 100 years old, just died last week. We had a heads up because he was losing blood in his urinary tract and there was nothing they could do to stop it. It took him about two and a half weeks to go after that. I felt lucky that I was able to see him before he became non responsive. My grandpa was the coolest! He worked for Ford for 35 years and started picking and selling pine nuts from his basement in 1944. He picked pine nuts until he was 92. :) He was always working on projects and very busy. He always served his children and grandchildren and made sure we had all that we needed. One of my favorite memories is his sense of humor, for instance, he would call and tell us, "You are looking mighty fine today". Which is awfully funny when speaking on the phone. He also used to say, "I read the obituaries everyday to make sure I'm not in there". Even on his way out of this world his sons were helping him to the bathroom, he could barely talk at this point, but he said, "Sounds like you guys are working hard". I am so grateful to have had such a wonderful grandpa. I know he is still around me and I am grateful for that knowledge. I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving and enjoy your families. That's what this time of year is all about anyway. Love to all.

Pre-Halloween

2008-10-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

With Halloween coming I can't help but think, "What am I going to be this year?" I generally have great ideas, but this year nothing inspiring has come to me. I love Halloween. I'll like it even better when I can go trick-or-treating again! :) It is so unfortunate that people are so defined by age for trick-or-treating. I try to go at least to houses I know because they won't be judgmental. The first time I got, "Aren't you a little old for this?" I was quite offended. I'm never too old. I enjoy candy from strangers anytime. The last time I really got a great load of candy was in Virginia at a trunk-or-treat. For some reason missionaries can get away with it, but people the same age as missionaries cannot....I guess at some point it would become ridiculous to have older people knocking on doors and if we were all out knocking on doors, who would give out the candy? Deep thoughts. Anyway, happy Halloween for all and good trick-or-treating, or partying, or whatever you do!

Visiting Teaching Coordinator

2008-10-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm warning that this is a vent. I do not understand why people communicate through e-mail without follow-up expressions. By follow-up expressions I mean smileys or frownies or something to indicate the tone of the letter. I have been communicating with my RS Pres. through e-mail for the last few months because that is the only way we can meet up. I am the VT coordinator and mostly just organize the VT for the following month get reports for the previous month and hand out assignments to the visiting teachers. My style of leadership involves giving people independence and encouragement to do their jobs. I believe that it is the most effective method because when I feel people do not believe in me, I am tempted to rebel and say you want to do it, go ahead. You do it yourself and see how you feel about it. Unfortunately with church that attitude does not work because I am not motivated by the person I am working under. Anyway, our communication has been limited and I just get the attitude in her e-mails that despite me doing my calling on time and well, she thinks I am incapable in some way. It drives me crazy. What is wrong with giving people praise and recognizing a job well-done. I have to go to class but GRRRR...... there is nothing worse than thinking that poeple have no confidence in you doing work well, especailly when I have a billion other things on my plate that I am doing well too. Seriously, CUT ME SOME SLACK!!!

Its been awhile

2008-09-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

I find at the moment that I am just trying to live through school. I am sick of it and I don't want to go but it is a means to an end and in the end I'll be happy I stuck through. I finally finished the computer tests they make you take in order to graduate and now I need to work on filling out my application for graduation and my internship applications. I have several projects going on. The 11 girls I go to school with and I are planning a fruit and veggie fair for three elementary schools. We started planning it at the beginning of September and the first one is next Thursday. It ought to be fun. We are doing a Food Network theme. My booth buddy and I are doing a Good Eats theme and get to perform a science based food skit. We are going to dress up like crazy scientists and have a blast. I really think it'll be fun. We are also writing curricula to teach at elementary school's after school programs. We will be teaching some already written curricula in the following months. It is a crazy semester but it will be rewarding and fun. Mike is also crazy with doing his MBA. Sometimes it seems like we don't even see each other in a day. Sometimes we are in the same room but we have like five minutes of conversation due to the homework load. Its pretty sad but once its all over we will both be happy. May here we come!

Post #2

2008-08-26T18:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official! I've already had my first school breakdown. It was yesterday when I got home from school and work at the University around 3:30. I was hungry, hadn't eaten since 8:00ish, some things just hadn't gone my way, and the hormones were just right so I broke down. It actually felt very good. Today was a much better day. It's amazing how things change so quickly from day to day.
I'm taking some really interesting classes. I'm starting to calm down in the stress area and just realizing that I can do it all day to day and it's actually pleasant. I am happy to be around my girlfriends from school again. We have been through so much together already. It feels like we'll have a life long bond of sisterhood from going through our program together. Sounds cheesy but you know what I mean. Anyway, I need to buy textbooks, but I thought Caity would be proud of me continuing to write on my blog. I also added a profile picture! :) I think I'm getting this thing down!

Our first blog!

2008-08-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

This is a terribly exciting moment in time, Mike and I finally have a blog. I'm sure it'll be me blogging and not so much Mike. We are just finishing up our summer here in Logan. School starts on Monday August, 25. I just took the GRE today. That is a test to get into graduate school. I need it for my internship next year as well as getting into the graduate program I would like. Thankfully, I got the scores I needed, as long as the percentiles have not changed too much from last year. This is my Senior year and I look forward to May when I'll finally have a break from school and have an accomplishment under my belt. WAHOO!!! Mike is starting his graduate program on Monday and is also excited to get it over with. He'll be working on a lot of projects and it sounds like he's got a lot of potential travel opportunities this year. There are a lot of unknowns in our lives at the moment but its going to be wonderful to see how things evolve in the next few years. I'll have to get some pictures on here before too long, so everyone can see all the hikes we've been doing, and the cruise, etc... It's been a wonderful summer! :)